Another point of view

Hey All!
 L. here. This is a really long one again. After reading M.'s post about the last 2 weeks of May I want to share about  them from my point of view, as well. I'll be starting on Wednesday the 21st:

My oldest brother came home for a one week visit, arriving at the airport around 10am. I also went to my last Spanish class of the school year.

Thursday May 22nd
 I went to see Disney's Million Dollar Arm with my family  in the morning And had a great afternoon with M. and E. Then my brother picked me up from M.'s house on  the way to dinner with some other friends.

Friday May 23rd
 My sister graduated with M. so I went to the same ceremony and party that night and really appreciated getting to spend time talking and dancing with the people there.

Saturday May 24th
 This day was crazy! I got to sleep in until about 10am before going to one graduation party and helping with preparations for and a party shared by M. and my sister. During the party I chatted with friends, ate snacks, and  helped take photo booth pictures and gather and guide people for boat rides. Over all it was an enjoyable but hectic party. When it was over I went with M. and a few of her siblings to another grad party for a mutual friend of ours while my brother's collage graduation open house started back at the club house. It was a nice chance to relax for a bit and enjoy some smore's.
I got back in time to help with some clean up from my brother's party. Thanks to everyone who helped by the way! It would have taken forever with out you.
Anyway that's enough about Saturday.

Sunday May 25th
This was my official rest day between Graduation and Camp though it was still pretty busy. We missed Church:( cause we were all so tired after the graduation parties but we went to two more that afternoon then had a few friends over for dinner. That may sound crazy but I actually thought it was rather relaxing.

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Camp week

This was a 5 day 10:00-7:30 Christian Music and Dance Camp that was truly different from any other. Our director put together the theme "Masquerade" for our concert and devotionals. You'll learn more about it as you read.

 Monday, May 26th

We excitedly greeted old friends, met new ones, heard from our director and did an ice breaker. Then we stretched and learned some basic ballet and Jazz steps. We learned some of our choreography and music for the concert and had a devotional in the evening where we learned about different kinds of masks and I realized what kind I wear the most. 

Tuesday, May 27th
I remember feeling stressed and empty. I wanted God to work in a big way at camp and I was afraid He wasn't going to.  I love to dance and its been a really cool form of worship for me but on Tuesday morning when we were told to try dancing during our worship time I didn't want to. For once I didn't feel an urge to dance like I normally did and for another our director had said to keep our eyes closed so that no one would be embarrassed so I was afraid of hitting or kicking someone if I moved too much. After an improve dance lesson later on though some of us danced freely around to our songs for the concert while our instructors prepared for our next session. For one moment as I spun in circles to "Oceans" by Hillsong United I thought I felt God for the first time in a while; just for a moment; then I let it go.

Wednesday, May 28th
Because most of you were probably there or have read M.'s other posts about it I'm going to focus on my perspective of the Cross time. When Eden told us to pray about and then give to God whatever we needed to I didn't know what that would be for me. As I started praying I thought I had an idea but then it became clear. It was the root of my masks that I needed to give up. My desire to be the one everyone could depend on; the one who was friendly and likable and always knew what to do. I was actually excited to give this up. I thought I was ready to let God take the lead and just be His. I knew He could use that surrender in big ways and I finally thought I knew how to let go. 
  So I went up to one of the alter, "gave it to Him" and went back to my seat. I must admit I felt awkward waiting there. Some girls like me had been ready quickly and gone up to the alters, others were talking through things with each other or our instructors, and a lot of girls were crying.  One of them was M. sitting two seats away from me. I could see how much it hurt her to think of giving up her mask as she held her beautiful prop mask in her hand and I could almost see desperation in her eyes. I wanted to do something but I was afraid she wouldn't want my help. I wanted to show I cared but thought giving her some space might be the best way to do that. Our Music director went up again and told the girls who had already been to the alters to pray with each other that this wouldn't just be a "spiritual high"  but that we would continue to leave the things we had given up in God's hands. I prayed with a good friend of mine who sat farther down the row and had also noticed M.'s tears so we prayed for each other and M. then went back to our seats again.

 Thursday, May 29th
 Was an exhausting tec day where we also learned one more song! You can read more about it in M.'s posts.

Friday, May 30th- Concert Day :D
Not what I expected. We Practiced, watched Skit Guys videos, messed up our hair and put on our ripped  jeans and black T-shirts. If you want an idea of what our hair looked like, the 8ish year old boys in the other Choir said we looked like we had just gotten out of prison or been through a fire.
After our pre-show meeting we went out to the lobby to greet people and open doors. I think everyone was a bit taken aback by our hair and jeans but It was nice not having to worry if they were pretty enough because they weren't supposed to be.
As we waited backstage I danced my nerves out and tried to comfort other nervous girls that even if we messed up it would be okay and God could use even our mistakes for His glory. We got to see that first hand.
I was the one who couldn't find my mask when it was time to go on stage but my dance partner for the first song grabbed an extra for me and we made it to our places just a little late. I tried to use the mishaps and even my feeling about them to our advantage and I knew that God had let them happen and was going to use them for his glory. But then our director stopped us in the middle of the first act. She confessed that we'd had more then a few technical problems and she wanted to check on us and give us a quick breather. I was a little annoyed but we went on and my singing became more and more truly from my heart. The last song in the first act was Power of the Cross by Natalie Grant and as we went through the song girls hung there masks on the cross and went back stage. Because I had the ending solo I was the last to leave the stage so I sang these customized lyrics out to myself as I prepared to get the ugly mask off my face.

That's he Power of the Cross; see the Fear fall

That's the Power of the Cross; see the Shame fall

That's the Power of the Cross; see the Hate  fall

That's the Power of the Cross; see the Greed fall

Then I took the mask off revealing the tears that were streaming down my face and sang to the audience with a sort of peaceful joy.

See the grace

 your Masks fall

I half walked, half bolted down the center aisle and around to back stage where I broke down and hugged a friend as i shock with tears. A few other girls gathered around us for a sort of group hug and M. prayed for us. I felt a mixture of shattering disappointment and overwhelming relief. I was done trying to do my best and trying to put my mask back on now would just look silly. Everyone backstage and in the audience knew I was a mess. During the second act I was real and free to worship God for what He had done and was doing that night. It was amazing how well the story in our performance fit so well with what God was really doing in my heart. At one point before I went on in a small group for one of the songs one of the girls said "we've got this" in an effort to encourage us.  "He got this" I said pointing up. If there was one thing this concert thought me it was that. We didn't have it but God did. I got to share some of this in a testimony time at the end of the concert so I hope God uses it in the lives of those who heard it there as well as those who read this post.
Thanks for reading!

-L.