Crazy Months (and new adventures)

Hey all!

How have you been? We're sorry for leaving you all in the middle of October and never coming back (just kidding, I'm writing right now!!!)

Last time I hung out with you guys, it was the middle of SEPTEMBER (oops) and I had just been getting into a new school and work routine for my life. I haven't written here since then because I've been writing in other ways!!! (Like songs and spoken words!!! And another project that I'll tell you about in a minute...)

ON CLASSES: They're going really good for the most part! I still really am not loving my 8:25 music theory class (and that's not even that early!). We are done with Aristotle in our English class and only have one more paper and one presentation for the semester!!! We're looking at Ethics in my "university success" class and at the person of Jesus Christ in theology. :D

ON MUSIC: I've written two songs here at school!!! Both were homework assignments. :P I also am really looking forward to learning how to use the tech equipment we have in our new RECORDING STUDIO!!!! I really love the band that I'm a part of - it's so much fun to jam out with other people who love and follow Jesus and want to lift Him high the same way you do!

ON OTHER FUN THINGS: I was in a play!!!!! And I am currently doing a writing project called "NaNoWriMo!" That's an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. That's 1,667 words a day!!! So the writing side of my brain is a little shot currently. I hope to blog at least a few more times here in November; but I apologize in advance if I end up under a rock the whole month!!! Maybe I'll post a little excerpt from the rough draft here sometime this month :D

ON THE HOLY SPIRIT: The Holy Spirit has been more present in my life in the last few weeks than I've ever felt Him. I used to worry about my salvation because of how sinful or messed up I was, but the fact that I hear the Holy Spirit's conviction so often in my, I am more assured and confident in my salvation than ever! I'm also more convinced of the things that God is calling me to do; even when I don't want to do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. (Especially when I feel uncomfortable doing it!)

ON SLEEP: Is it normal to fall asleep in the middle of the day and accidentally sleep for THREE AND A HALF HOURS??? I've done that twice in the last ten days.... (hehe oops). Hey, at least I didn't sleep through any classes!

ON MY NEW SISTER!!! We're adopting my baby sister!! We've had her in foster care for over a year now and on Friday, we are officially adopting her!!! I'M SO EXCITED GUYS!!!!!!!! (Can you tell?)

ON SIMPLEX STUFF: I have a post in my mind about Identity that I'm hoping to work on soon!! So you all can look forward to that! :D Also life gets simpler and simpler the more I think about it. Here's a new little perspective on what simplex means to me lately:

"The world gets crazier and crazier. God calls, 'talk with me.' 

Your life circumstances get heavier, Jesus says, 'I died for those.' 

The culture whispers to you to enjoy yourself, the Holy Spirit cries, 'deny yourself.'

It's a simple sentence. But the fact that it's from the Lord of the galaxies makes it astronomical."

Thanks for reading! Talk to you all soon!

-M.

The Beginning...

Hey everyone!!!

GUESS. WHAT.

(I started school. Like three weeks ago.)
*cue screaming*

Don't worry, it's not bad screaming!! Well, mostly not bad. I did kinda forget how hard school in general is. But most of the past month has been really really awesome!!

ON WELCOME WEEK: I moved in... I met my roommates... I met about 3000 other people whose names I will never remember... I did SO MANY welcome week events (Including a worship night, a movie night, and a concert!!)... and ate way too much free pizza.

ON CLASSES: I have an english class where we make memes that connect to aristotle. I have a "university success" class where we're gonna play clue in a few weeks!! I have a theology class where we talked about dreams of aliens and zombies. I'm super stoked about voice lessons. And I have not one, but TWO classes dedicated just to writing music!!

ON HOMEWORK: I already have a song due for songwriting this weekend :| and I have a speech TOMORROW in my English class!!!

ON CLUBS: I'm going to join a guitar club!! I have had a guitar for 8 months and haven't learned to play it yet. I want to join a Frisbee club but I haven't found one yet that fits my schedule. (Noooo.... I need my Frisbee!!!!)

ON FOOD: The food here is way too good... let's just say I've eaten a lot of chicken sandwiches and had a few too many drinks from Jamba Juice :P

ON GOD AND THE START OF COLLEGE: I'm having a blast. It's crazy, it's busy, and it's more difficult than I ever really anticipated. (I've already had one night where I stayed up till 3am to finish homework...!) But it's the beginning of the rest of my life. I'm SO excited for what God's gonna bring me not only this year, but throughout the college experience for me. He's already teaching me so many new concepts and drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. I can't wait for more.

The Candlelight Dedication service for the Freshman class

In summary, I started college. But there's so much more that God has in my story. And knowing God, He's gonna make it AWESOME.

Thanks for reading! See you guys next time!
-M.

On FIVE DAYS TILL SCHOOL (!!) and Moments that Change You

This might not turn out as well as I'm hoping, but here goes nothing...

Hey everyone! M. here!!!

(So just to confirm how awful my motivation/inspiration/will to write is currently, I wrote the two sentences above TWO WEEKS ago and then was sidetracked for the day and then I forgot about them and then I continued life as usual and then I procrastinated and then I CAME HOME and then I started packing and can you tell that blogging hasn't been a priority lately????)

How are you all doing? Comment below with your lamest pun involving a banana, a buffalo, and a pair of socks. :D

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! I move into my new dorm in 5 (five) (cinco!!!) days!!!
I can't believe it. I'm literally dancing in my room right now. (And you can't prove me wrong cause you're not here to see it! So there.)

Anyway, on to my simplex observations of the day!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Life is funny. It changes so quickly yet we expect it to stay fairly consistent. We expect our perceptions of the world to be consistent, which really is the strangest thing to expect at all!! This is because our perception and our "brain filters" or "worldview lenses" are always being added to with each new experience every day.

Think back to a year or so ago. Didn't you feel so much younger, or immature, or less knowledgeable? Well, that's because, obviously, you were younger. You probably were more immature. And you were definitely less knowledgeable, whether in head knowledge or experiential knowledge. And all of the moments in the last year of your life have brought you to today! And each moment is going to move you forward. To some degree, what you ate for breakfast today actually is going to change the outcome of your life!!!!

But don't freak out - it's NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Something that trivial is probably not going to change your life in a negative or positive way. It's a more neutral event in the grand scheme of your years of life. But there are some events, some moments or days that leave a mark on you.

And you are forever different because of it.

Maybe it was a moment in first grade when you made an awesome friend - or an "enemy for life." Maybe it was your first day at a job. Maybe it was a graduation or the receiving of an award that you worked really hard for! Maybe it was the day when someone close to you died. Or maybe it was a period of time when you struggled with doubt or anxiety or depression. Maybe it was a moment of laughter you shared with a friend. Or maybe it was the week you spent at youth camp.

Whatever it was, it changed you. And it's so weird that we expect consistency in our own lives when we have moments or days like that.

I had more than a few days like that this summer. In fact, my whole summer was an experience that changed me!! Going away for a month to a place out of my comfort zone, to a job that fulfilled me and exhausted me simultaneously, and to a spiritual craving for God unlike my usual walk with Him really grew me and stretched me in ways I didn't expect or ask for.

I'm finally home and have had a week to get back "to normal;" just in time to start packing up for school! But a recap is always necessary for me to really get some good closure.

Here's a short little list of things that hit me this summer during my summer job/weekend trips home/vacation with family:

• It's actually ok to be homesick!!!! (In the past I viewed it as a weakness and therefore to be avoided like the plague. But it's real and it's healthy!)
• Hard work doesn't always pay off. But wise work does.
• The timely encouragement of a friend is worth more than gold!!!
• Car drives were made for loud music. And singing at the top of my lungs.
• Taking pictures was one of my coping methods. And also one of my ways to save up priceless memories. 
• I really really love the visual aid of life as a story to remind myself that Jesus is a better author than I'll ever be.
• I missed my piano SO MUCH over the summer!
• I had some long days at work, but the last week had one of the hardest because I was so spent of energy.
• My time spent with God was different because I was in a place of daily reliance on Him much more that I do at home. And I want to trust Him that much all the time, recognizing that every little thing I have is from His will.

This summer changed me. God changed me in a good way, though the path wasn't sunshine and rainbows all of the time. In fact it was often clouds and downpour, both figuratively and literally!! But now I see life a different way and it's brought me closer to God and to other friends!

And now, in just five days, I'm going on another new adventure. God's called me to the school I'm headed for and He's opened every single door I've needed to follow that calling. And I can't wait to make so many memories and have those moments that change me forever as God molds me into the girl He wants me to be.

See you guys next time!!
-M.

On College and "Those Days"

Hello, dear readers! Happy Spring! :D

M. here. I feel like I'm returning to an old home. It hasn't really been that long since I last blogged (yeah, it has) but it's FELT like forever!! My life has just been packed with school, music, work, organizing, planning, and dreaming of the future. Every time I returned to this page, I felt like I had nothing to write about... So sad. But my mind has been far from empty; most of my thoughts are of school, or more importantly, getting ready for COLLEGE!!!!

Guys, I'm going to college in 5 1/2 months. 159 days. (Yes, I'm counting now.) Which is 3816 hours.... Oh, forget it!!

I'm going to college. (shrieks in excitement)

I've got my schedule, my room assignment, my packing list, my summer job, and my AWESOME friends and family helping me along the way with it all. My major will be a dream experience for me; by studying Worship Arts I get to take music classes, voice lessons, be in choirs, and ALSO get to take theology courses!!! I honestly don't know which ones I'm more excited for.

Why am I going to college?? I thought I was like, 12 three weeks ago. Who let me grow up???

I am thinking about starting a series or collection of posts for the blog on my college experience, including packing and planning, organizing and prettifying my dorm, what I learn in classes, studying and learning tips, and all the simplex things that happen throughout the journey! (If I have time, that is....) I'll probably begin posting things of that sort once I finish my online classes in May. :D

Okay, enough about schoolish things. Here is some simplex encouragement for you today!!! (In hindsight, it's actually really deep... but that's okay!)

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You know those days when you want to kick a chair over? Or maybe those days when you want to disappear into your room and melt away into your bed? Or maybe those days when you really, really need a hug and no one's around?? Or even those days when you can't think straight because of the constant barrage of things to do and places to be and work to finish but you have no time???

You know "those days?" If someone came up and asked you how you were, would you say, "It's been one of those days!"

Yeah, I have those days too. (Duh.) Everyone has those days! (Again, duh.) The worst part of days like that, for me, are when I don't learn anything from them. I know that God is supposed to be using every moment to teach me something about Him, or myself; but a lot of the time it seems like those days are just there. I try to ask God what He's teaching me, but I hear no answer. Then without skipping a beat I get mad at God and turn to something, anything besides Him for comfort. I don't really even bother to wait any longer than a minute for a calming peace, a solution to the problem, or a teaching moment.

My problem with "those days" isn't really how bad the day actually is. It's that God isn't helping fix it when I want Him to.

It's taken me a really long time to figure out this sentence I'm going to share with you: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. That is a very simple sentence that I'm sure most you would agree with. But during one of those days, do you really live like it's true?

Here's an example. (It's kind of a long one.) Last fall, I was set to attend a gap year program in another state. I had attended youth camps put on by this association and had always loved them; but an actual nine month study program sounded beyond epic to me. Because I hadn't originally intended to do any school during my gap year, I was torn between staying home or trying to go there.

I trusted God with the decision and sent in my application. I actually put my dreams in His hands and was confident He'd help me make the right decision. I was accepted and was ecstatic!! I began dreaming of the opportunities, obviously. But it was short-lived excitement. I couldn't afford the cost of the program and had to withdraw a month before it began. I was crushed. All the trust I'd put in Jesus, and it felt like He'd dumped me in the garbage. 

For the last year, this experience has weighed on me because I could not understand why God put me through that. I've had some great moments this year that showed me that I was meant to stay home (See: It's the Little Things, Hugs from Jesus) and I understood that, but why didn't He just steer me away from the opportunity or tell me not to apply, so I wouldn't get my dreams shattered? My level of passion in the things I loved went waaay down last fall, even unconsciously, because God had taken something away from me.

That's always the magic question, isn't it: why?? Here's the magic answer: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. (Look familiar?) Technically, we don't have the right to ask God why He does things His way. Sure, He lets us ask away, but He's never obliged to answer.

Here's the most important part, though, in this equation: If God wants us to know what's going on, He will tell us!! He loves us enough to want to do that for us. He doesn't have to tell us anything really (See: the book of Job!!) but He chooses to give us answers sometimes for the sake of showing us how He loves us!!

In the example I gave, I only recently have come to an understanding of why I went through that time of confusion last summer. God wanted to give me something beyond me and out of my control. It forced me to trust Him with it, which I did. But He also wanted me to accept the outcome I didn't expect (having the door opened and then quickly shut again) and continue to trust Him, which I did not do. I tried to take back the control of my own life once I thought that God couldn't handle it. Obviously He could have and did, but I was running the wrong direction to see it!

Yeah, that's basically what happened last summer!! ;)

Through the Christmas season and these first two months of this year, God has been revealing why I went through that tough time: He was teaching me to accept His changes of direction because they're way better! I probably wouldn't be going to the college I am this fall, if I had gone to that program last year. I might have not pursued a degree in Worship Arts, I might not have seen our little brother's adoption (!!) or met the AWESOME kids I work with each week. And I definitely wouldn't have learned the lesson of changing direction when I really needed it.

It only took me a few months for this resolution, but sometimes it may take years to get it. You may never get it. (Again, see: the book of Job.) God doesn't run on your timing!! I've learned the hard way that going God's way will hurt your heart less in the long run, and I hope you never have to learn it the hard way. Do you have any thoughts on this topic? Comment away!

Remember this: God hears. He knows. His timing is perfect.

As always, thanks for reading!
M.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

-Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)

The Woods

Hey people!!! 

   Here's a story that i had to write for a school assignment. It was hard but fun to write, however, its a bit deppressing, so tell me what you think about it!!

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   Jason was lost in a forest, that much he knew. 

   He had heard many stories about this forest, of how those who went in were never seen again. No one knew what happened to them, or why they left. They never found bodies, or even a clothing item. Jason had been told many different theories, some said they went to the big cities to become famous, others said it was wild animals, or aliens, but one said it was fairies. 

  'Fairies..ha!' Jason had laughed at that, 'what! Do you think tinker bell came to kidnap the children and take them to Neverland?!' 

  He couldn't think of anything else more ridiculous. However, the old woman who had suggested it, looked very sane, and had continued to insist that it was true, that she had seen it happen with her own eyes. She said, no one could go into that forest willingly and ever return home again. 

   'What about those who went unwillingly?' He had wondered. 

   He had decided to prove her wrong, and soon set out. After walking a while he quickly lost track of time. Before he knew it, the sun had begun to set, his house was no longer visible, and the trail he was following was no where to be seen. It was pitch black, for the moon didn't show between the trees.

  All he was going to do, was stay in the forest for two hours, and then go back. unfortunately, it had been four hours since he had seen any signs of civilization.

  He was completely lost and nothing looked even remotely familiar. The fear had long ago set in. He shivered at the though of having to spend the night there and he began to run in the general direction that he thought he had come from. The trees seemed to reach for him with their gnarled branches, and he tripped over a fallen branch. An owl screeched above him. 

  He began to imagine tiny things flit in and out of the edge of his vision, but then they were real. A small flying object that lit up like a glowing Christmas light. Suddenly there were more of them, and they were everywhere. 

   They resembled common birds in size, and flickered different shades of color, a deep mahogany here,  a forest green there, others dark blue, and some violet. They swirled and danced in a breathtaking array of light and color. 

  Jason stood, looking in amazed wonder. He still couldn't see what they were but he was positive the old lady's guess was correct.

  Fairies. 

  He had no fear of being carried off by them, they were so tiny it was comical to think they could make a human disappear. One came close to him...he held his breath, too afraid of frightening it away. 

  He saw that it was, indeed a fairy, but it looked nothing like the usual storybook fairies. 

  Glowing dark shades of brown and orange, it resembled the human figurine of any 'normal' fairy-whatever that means-but the resemblances stopped there. It had tiny horns like a mountain goat, that curled down its back reaching mid-waist, almost like hair. Its feet were bare and looked slightly transparent, glowing bright orange. It had a long tail that flicked and curled like a cats. Jason expected there to be wings on its back but there was nothing. It simply walked on the air, moving as it wanted, like it was walking on an invisible surface. It surpassed its name in the 'fair' aspect, for it was beautiful, and dark. It wore a flowing black cloak over fitted clothes. Its features were sharp, and its cats eyes showed wisdom far beyond their years. Its ears were rounded like a humans, and covering every inch of visible skin were markings, curling black tattoos. 

  Jason held his hand out, as the Fairy came closer to him. It looked at him cocking its head and beckoning for the others to come near as well. Jason stiffened and held his breath as they all came closer to him. They quickly surrounded him and began to comunicate with each other, they seemed to be arguing about something. Jason still didnt move, but instead simply observed. He reveled at the fact that they actually existed, but that also meant that the old lady was right. He wasn't sure why she had thought it was the fairies that made the people vanish. They seemed harmless enough, and they were beautiful. 

   Then they looked like they had come to some agreement and the first fairy came closer to him and simply touched his still hand. 

   A pain like no other he had ever felt, shot up his arm and through his body, he fell to the floor moaning from the pain. Slivers of icy fear spread through him, stealing his breath and suffocating him. 

  Then the other fairies slowly descended upon him. At each ones contact another wave of pain shot through him. He screamed, silent and long from lack of air. Fighting them was useless, he was immobile from the pain. 

   In that moment Jason knew that he would never be seen by any living man again. He should never have listened to those stories, never have gone into the forest, much less at night. He could no longer think over the pain, it was excruciating, filling his head, covering his sight, muting his hearing. They were lifting him up..carrying him away. He began to grow numb to the pain, it faded to a dull throb. He moaned, and begged them to take him back home. The orange fairy looked at him. Then..

  Black.

  Nothing. 

  Everything was gone. 

 

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E.

Fall, Movies, Excitement, and Other Random Happenings

Hi everyone!

Well, it's been way too long since I posted, so here's the collection of thoughts, projects, and happenings in my life lately. :)

• I'm back in school! I'm doing online coursework for the year before I transfer to university on-campus next fall. I finished a Christian worldview course about a week ago and REALLY enjoyed the class. It stretched my mind in lots of different ways, which you all know I love. :D Right now, I've just started taking Old Testament History!
• I work full-time now!! At least almost full-time. I nanny/babysit for two different families and I absolutely love it! I can't even think of a better place that I'd want to work right now. 
• I CUT MY HAIR OFF. Well, I actually paid someone else to do it, but ya know. :) It's kind of a longish pixie now.
• I recently got the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and have just started reading it. So far, it's really convicting and theological and just all-around awesome. I also recently read C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory and I really loved that, too. Have any of you read anything interesting lately?? Comment below! :)
• Fall is finally here, and Winter is in sight!! Fun fact: Winter is my favorite season, hands down.
• I've been thinking about grace a lot lately. God's grace isn't clean, it gets dirty. Grace has to cover every sin, not just the "little" ones. When we understand God's grace, we become free from fear of perfection, because we are no longer required to be perfect. We are free to just be ourselves and chase after God with all of our hearts!
• I changed the blog background! (Again!) I went with blue this time, and I really like the new fonts I found. :)
• My brain is about to die. I've watched a lot of movies lately and have been thinking a lot about the worldview in each of them, (big surprise!) so hopefully I can still put together a set of coherent thoughts when I need to. (Which, looking back on that sentence, probably won't be happening anytime soon...) Recently I've watched The Maze Runner, Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Citizen Kane, The Patriot, (edited) and The Magnificent Seven.
• We have a new page coming soon to the blog!!! L. had a really cool page idea for us to add, and we're excited for you to see it! Stay tuned...
• My friends are awesome. Jus' sayin. :)
• I color-coded the apps on my phone. It's kind of relaxing to just scroll through and see all of the colors. :)
• I'm running out of relevant information to put in these bullet points...
• Our cars have all been dying!!! And our house has lost power three times in the last week. It's freaking me out. 
• I keep waiting for something really exciting to happen, but I don't know why. Maybe I've just had too much routine lately. (But if there's too much excitement, I completely shut down and can't function until I have routine again...)
• Last Saturday, I got 7 pies smashed in my face. L. and E. were responsible for two of said pies. I'm totally getting them back for that, but I haven't quite decided how yet. :D
• I went to a concert over the weekend that was absolutely amazing!! I got to see Colton Dixon, Francesca Battistelli, Jeremy Camp, and Hillsong United, along with others, but those four were my favorite!! (I also got to start sponsoring a little girl in Thailand with an international program!!! I'm super excited about that!)
• Here's a verse that I fell in love with the other day! At Bible study a few days ago, the teacher had us do something called lectio divina with verses we were assigned. (Look it up on google; it'll tell you what that means...) The verse I got was 1 Corinthians 1:17 - "For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel - not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of of Christ be emptied of its power." The phrase that stood out to me was "words of human wisdom" because words are so meaningful to me. I was  thinking that maybe the way we preach the gospel is with a language of love and grace, rather than words. The cross kind of transcends the very limited power of words, which I find fascinating. My mind's been on this thought a lot for the past few days.
• There are pushpins in my bulletin board in the shape of a heart. Just in case you wanted to know. :D

There ya go! Enjoy trying to decipher my life! (Hint: Oh, wait. There aren't any hints. I can't even decipher my life!) I guess you could say it's kinda... simplex right now! (Hahahaha! I see what you did there!!) Oh, man, I'm laughing at my own puns. This is really bad. I'd better go and save whatever dignity I've got left. Bye!

-M.

And Now For the News...

Hello Friends! Happy Easter!

What's that? Yes, I understand that I've been gone a while. It wasn't that long, OK? Anyway, it's M. here to bring you the news you need to know! (That's how they say it on TV, right?)

EXCITING NEWS! I have started blogging for another blog! At first, I was not planning to link any of the posts over here, but because I am able to choose a pen name for that blog too, I will post links to those blog posts as I finish them! (Does any of that make sense to you? It's too exhausting to rewrite it...)

MORE EXCITING NEWS! I sewed a dress! It's a really pretty chevron pattern with pink sleeves and collar. It's a bit more "girly" than what I normally wear for sure, but I'm glad that I'm finally done with it. :)

EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS! (Seriously? How much exciting news can I possibly have???) I have 5 weeks of high school left!! (phew) I finish my classes at the community college in two weeks and I graduate at the end of May. (dances around the room jubilantly) (no, exuberantly) (wait, maybe ecstatically...) (whatever. I'M REALLY HAPPY, OK?) I will also update you on that, spelling out all of the details in detail. (except maybe not the keynote speaker at the ceremony, yes?)

Not so Exciting News!  (Dull News? Disenchanting News? Whatever.) I'm sick. Well, sort of. I lost my voice the other day and won't stop coughing. My voice is back but I haven't been able to sing for almost four days now. (NOOO!!! I must sing!!! The hills are alive with the sooooooound of muuuuuuuuusic!!) (Ahem. That never happened.)

One last thing. I need a pen name for the new blog I'm blogging for. I've thought of the Chronicler or the Faithful. I'd love more ideas! Comment away!

Thanks for reading! -M.

P.S. Some funny pics from Pinterest, just for you!

(I say this often now)

(It just irks me...)