On FIVE DAYS TILL SCHOOL (!!) and Moments that Change You

This might not turn out as well as I'm hoping, but here goes nothing...

Hey everyone! M. here!!!

(So just to confirm how awful my motivation/inspiration/will to write is currently, I wrote the two sentences above TWO WEEKS ago and then was sidetracked for the day and then I forgot about them and then I continued life as usual and then I procrastinated and then I CAME HOME and then I started packing and can you tell that blogging hasn't been a priority lately????)

How are you all doing? Comment below with your lamest pun involving a banana, a buffalo, and a pair of socks. :D

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! I move into my new dorm in 5 (five) (cinco!!!) days!!!
I can't believe it. I'm literally dancing in my room right now. (And you can't prove me wrong cause you're not here to see it! So there.)

Anyway, on to my simplex observations of the day!

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Life is funny. It changes so quickly yet we expect it to stay fairly consistent. We expect our perceptions of the world to be consistent, which really is the strangest thing to expect at all!! This is because our perception and our "brain filters" or "worldview lenses" are always being added to with each new experience every day.

Think back to a year or so ago. Didn't you feel so much younger, or immature, or less knowledgeable? Well, that's because, obviously, you were younger. You probably were more immature. And you were definitely less knowledgeable, whether in head knowledge or experiential knowledge. And all of the moments in the last year of your life have brought you to today! And each moment is going to move you forward. To some degree, what you ate for breakfast today actually is going to change the outcome of your life!!!!

But don't freak out - it's NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Something that trivial is probably not going to change your life in a negative or positive way. It's a more neutral event in the grand scheme of your years of life. But there are some events, some moments or days that leave a mark on you.

And you are forever different because of it.

Maybe it was a moment in first grade when you made an awesome friend - or an "enemy for life." Maybe it was your first day at a job. Maybe it was a graduation or the receiving of an award that you worked really hard for! Maybe it was the day when someone close to you died. Or maybe it was a period of time when you struggled with doubt or anxiety or depression. Maybe it was a moment of laughter you shared with a friend. Or maybe it was the week you spent at youth camp.

Whatever it was, it changed you. And it's so weird that we expect consistency in our own lives when we have moments or days like that.

I had more than a few days like that this summer. In fact, my whole summer was an experience that changed me!! Going away for a month to a place out of my comfort zone, to a job that fulfilled me and exhausted me simultaneously, and to a spiritual craving for God unlike my usual walk with Him really grew me and stretched me in ways I didn't expect or ask for.

I'm finally home and have had a week to get back "to normal;" just in time to start packing up for school! But a recap is always necessary for me to really get some good closure.

Here's a short little list of things that hit me this summer during my summer job/weekend trips home/vacation with family:

• It's actually ok to be homesick!!!! (In the past I viewed it as a weakness and therefore to be avoided like the plague. But it's real and it's healthy!)
• Hard work doesn't always pay off. But wise work does.
• The timely encouragement of a friend is worth more than gold!!!
• Car drives were made for loud music. And singing at the top of my lungs.
• Taking pictures was one of my coping methods. And also one of my ways to save up priceless memories. 
• I really really love the visual aid of life as a story to remind myself that Jesus is a better author than I'll ever be.
• I missed my piano SO MUCH over the summer!
• I had some long days at work, but the last week had one of the hardest because I was so spent of energy.
• My time spent with God was different because I was in a place of daily reliance on Him much more that I do at home. And I want to trust Him that much all the time, recognizing that every little thing I have is from His will.

This summer changed me. God changed me in a good way, though the path wasn't sunshine and rainbows all of the time. In fact it was often clouds and downpour, both figuratively and literally!! But now I see life a different way and it's brought me closer to God and to other friends!

And now, in just five days, I'm going on another new adventure. God's called me to the school I'm headed for and He's opened every single door I've needed to follow that calling. And I can't wait to make so many memories and have those moments that change me forever as God molds me into the girl He wants me to be.

See you guys next time!!
-M.

On College and "Those Days"

Hello, dear readers! Happy Spring! :D

M. here. I feel like I'm returning to an old home. It hasn't really been that long since I last blogged (yeah, it has) but it's FELT like forever!! My life has just been packed with school, music, work, organizing, planning, and dreaming of the future. Every time I returned to this page, I felt like I had nothing to write about... So sad. But my mind has been far from empty; most of my thoughts are of school, or more importantly, getting ready for COLLEGE!!!!

Guys, I'm going to college in 5 1/2 months. 159 days. (Yes, I'm counting now.) Which is 3816 hours.... Oh, forget it!!

I'm going to college. (shrieks in excitement)

I've got my schedule, my room assignment, my packing list, my summer job, and my AWESOME friends and family helping me along the way with it all. My major will be a dream experience for me; by studying Worship Arts I get to take music classes, voice lessons, be in choirs, and ALSO get to take theology courses!!! I honestly don't know which ones I'm more excited for.

Why am I going to college?? I thought I was like, 12 three weeks ago. Who let me grow up???

I am thinking about starting a series or collection of posts for the blog on my college experience, including packing and planning, organizing and prettifying my dorm, what I learn in classes, studying and learning tips, and all the simplex things that happen throughout the journey! (If I have time, that is....) I'll probably begin posting things of that sort once I finish my online classes in May. :D

Okay, enough about schoolish things. Here is some simplex encouragement for you today!!! (In hindsight, it's actually really deep... but that's okay!)

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You know those days when you want to kick a chair over? Or maybe those days when you want to disappear into your room and melt away into your bed? Or maybe those days when you really, really need a hug and no one's around?? Or even those days when you can't think straight because of the constant barrage of things to do and places to be and work to finish but you have no time???

You know "those days?" If someone came up and asked you how you were, would you say, "It's been one of those days!"

Yeah, I have those days too. (Duh.) Everyone has those days! (Again, duh.) The worst part of days like that, for me, are when I don't learn anything from them. I know that God is supposed to be using every moment to teach me something about Him, or myself; but a lot of the time it seems like those days are just there. I try to ask God what He's teaching me, but I hear no answer. Then without skipping a beat I get mad at God and turn to something, anything besides Him for comfort. I don't really even bother to wait any longer than a minute for a calming peace, a solution to the problem, or a teaching moment.

My problem with "those days" isn't really how bad the day actually is. It's that God isn't helping fix it when I want Him to.

It's taken me a really long time to figure out this sentence I'm going to share with you: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. That is a very simple sentence that I'm sure most you would agree with. But during one of those days, do you really live like it's true?

Here's an example. (It's kind of a long one.) Last fall, I was set to attend a gap year program in another state. I had attended youth camps put on by this association and had always loved them; but an actual nine month study program sounded beyond epic to me. Because I hadn't originally intended to do any school during my gap year, I was torn between staying home or trying to go there.

I trusted God with the decision and sent in my application. I actually put my dreams in His hands and was confident He'd help me make the right decision. I was accepted and was ecstatic!! I began dreaming of the opportunities, obviously. But it was short-lived excitement. I couldn't afford the cost of the program and had to withdraw a month before it began. I was crushed. All the trust I'd put in Jesus, and it felt like He'd dumped me in the garbage. 

For the last year, this experience has weighed on me because I could not understand why God put me through that. I've had some great moments this year that showed me that I was meant to stay home (See: It's the Little Things, Hugs from Jesus) and I understood that, but why didn't He just steer me away from the opportunity or tell me not to apply, so I wouldn't get my dreams shattered? My level of passion in the things I loved went waaay down last fall, even unconsciously, because God had taken something away from me.

That's always the magic question, isn't it: why?? Here's the magic answer: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. (Look familiar?) Technically, we don't have the right to ask God why He does things His way. Sure, He lets us ask away, but He's never obliged to answer.

Here's the most important part, though, in this equation: If God wants us to know what's going on, He will tell us!! He loves us enough to want to do that for us. He doesn't have to tell us anything really (See: the book of Job!!) but He chooses to give us answers sometimes for the sake of showing us how He loves us!!

In the example I gave, I only recently have come to an understanding of why I went through that time of confusion last summer. God wanted to give me something beyond me and out of my control. It forced me to trust Him with it, which I did. But He also wanted me to accept the outcome I didn't expect (having the door opened and then quickly shut again) and continue to trust Him, which I did not do. I tried to take back the control of my own life once I thought that God couldn't handle it. Obviously He could have and did, but I was running the wrong direction to see it!

Yeah, that's basically what happened last summer!! ;)

Through the Christmas season and these first two months of this year, God has been revealing why I went through that tough time: He was teaching me to accept His changes of direction because they're way better! I probably wouldn't be going to the college I am this fall, if I had gone to that program last year. I might have not pursued a degree in Worship Arts, I might not have seen our little brother's adoption (!!) or met the AWESOME kids I work with each week. And I definitely wouldn't have learned the lesson of changing direction when I really needed it.

It only took me a few months for this resolution, but sometimes it may take years to get it. You may never get it. (Again, see: the book of Job.) God doesn't run on your timing!! I've learned the hard way that going God's way will hurt your heart less in the long run, and I hope you never have to learn it the hard way. Do you have any thoughts on this topic? Comment away!

Remember this: God hears. He knows. His timing is perfect.

As always, thanks for reading!
M.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

-Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)

One Year Ago...

Guys...  

(*cough*and gals*cough* I'm apparently here to comment and fix any errors that M. made. -E.)

(BTW this is completely M's post! Don't tell her I'm here;))

Friends...

GUESS WHAT?! (What? oh hey people! It's L. I snuck into M.'s post:) (Oh hey L.! How's it going? M. doesn't know we're here, right?)  (Hey E. you can join me in sneaking around!  I don't know if she has caught us yet.)

It has been one (uno) (eins) (What??) year since Simplex began. Allow me to share the story with you....

"What should we call it?" E. and I deliberate as we sit in front of my computer. Ideas are tossed out quicker than bad cheese. "We could smush two words together and make a new word. It catches people's attention." (M.'s idea..) We go through a LOT of names... Something about a literary fortress? (M.'s idea..) Nah. We settle on mystery. (Also M.'s idea...) "Of what?"

"This is too complicated..." I say. Complex... hmmm. I thought blogging would be simpler than this!! Simple.. Complex.. "Simplex!" I call out.

"What...??" (I was more like: "whaaaaaaaaaaaa.....???) E. looks at me, confused. I explain. "Simplex is something that is simple and yet at the same time, it's complex. Like rain. Or God's grace." (M. literally thought of this in about 10 seconds!) That's M. for ya!)
"Just put something down!" (We have tried to make a name probably for an hour...) (ha! More like 'two' hours! :D it was roughly 11:00pm by then and we were both exhausted)

Here is a picture for you!

The story above may or may not be exact, (its pretty close;)) but the process for making the pages, first post, and design for Simplex went along those same lines of taking forever to make decisions...(like forever) :D But we made it. On October 12th, a year ago today, our blog went live online. And look where God has brought us today! (I'm still amazed at what He has done, and where He has brought me - all of us - since then;)) (I did not know that story until I read this. What troopers they are!)

We have a new author, L! (she mentioned me :)) We have published 58 posts ranging from random to theological (and just plain weird;) mostly by me:)). We've hit over 2,000 page views!!!! (Can I get a round of applause, people?! woot! woot!) The background has been changed multiple times... (mostly by M. once by me) and God's been glorified through it all. (AMEN!!)
Thanks YOU, readers, for making our last year of blogging a wonderful one! (Yeah thanks guys! Especially the three of you who comment! God loves you all though!)

Catch you later! Stay tuned for more Simplexities here! (Siml..sompx..coxcity...Whaaaaaa.....??? ;)) (What???)

-M. (and L.:)) (Don't forget about me!! Otherwise known as: - MOOO!! - *cough* I mean: - penguins are cool - AAAAHHHH I'm going insane!! -- insert evil witch cackle here -- E.)

THE AFTERMATH:

M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (clicks)
M: (scrolling)
M: (gasps)
M: (viciously scrolling)
M: (screams; faints)
L and E: (high-five)