Author of My Life

Hi, (E. writing)

I want to start off with a bible verse. 

It's Romans 8:28 'And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.' (ESV)

I know, your thinking- wow, haven't heard that one before! -right?! But hold on! Think about that for a moment. ALL things, not just a few things, not just big things or little things, but ALL things work together for good. For Good. For those who love God. Notice it doesn't say 'For those who are completely perfect and love God', or 'For those who always obey and love God', it simply says 'For those who love God, and are called according to His purpose,' meaning anyone who has received Christ into their heart, as their Lord and savior. If you have given your life to him, then you are called according to his purpose.

Now just because it says -everything will work for good- doesn't mean that nothing bad will ever happen, and your life will be perfect, or that you won't be hurt, it just means that whatever happens, happens for a reason. If you seek God through it, he will always, without fail, turn it for good.

When bad things happen in my life, God always takes them and shows me a lesson to learn from them. Many times its a hard lesson that I honestly don't want to learn. Sometimes it's even something that I think I already knew. Recently He's been showing me just how far He will let me mess up, just to learn a lesson, and to remind me that no matter what I do He still loves me. Yes, there are always consequences for doing something I shouldn't have, but that is to be expected. In the end I'm always glad to know that I can still learn from mistakes and not repeat them.

Another important point is that God is in control. Completely and totally. Because of this we should always give him full control of our lives. (fyi: very very very hard to do)

An important reminder of how much He is really in control is this: He wrote the story. He is the author. I am a character. He wrote my story. I am a piece of art, subject only to how I am made. He knows what happens at the end. Every detail. He knows my likes and dislikes, what makes me happy and what makes me upset. He watched me grow up even as I rejected Him. He has never stopped loving me. Not for one second. He is with me even when I sin. And he has forgiven me for every sin hundreds of years before they even happen. And through all of this I ask myself daily: Why can't I be in control? 

I 

Am 

Not 

Without

Sin

And that is why Jesus laid down his own life for me. 

~E

  

New Project: 10,000 Reasons

Hi readers! M. here :D

I was going about my day today and decided I needed some encouragement or motivation (or something of that sort). I have a lovely little jar from my graduation last year containing notes of encouragement (AND PAPER CLIPS!!! --Ahem. Sorry.) from E. and L. (Aren't they just aa-mazing?? Yeah, I know.)

Anyway.

I pulled this one out today:

 

 

It was a very timely encouragement for me. I  recalled a project I'd dreamed of doing, but never made any progress on, that I like to call "10,000 Reasons." The idea is to write out literally 10,000 reasons that God is worthy to be praised.

So I took some time tonight to do that!! I got out some small canvases that I'd been saving for some art project that I'd never do and this resulted: 

This is only 50 different words/praises/reasons so I'm really looking forward to what this looks like at the end!! (To put it in perspective, I'm half of 1% of the way done with the project. I need to do this again 199 times before I reach 10,000 reasons...) I'm planning to keep you all updated every hundred words/praises/reasons.

 

This is my new project, guys! I don't know if it'll just take the summer or the whole school year or multiple school years!! I do know this, though: Christ is worthy to be praised over 10,000 times and I owe Him praise every day in every way!

What else should I add on to this project? Comment below and I'll write it in! :D

As always, thanks for reading!

-M.

Random Vent on Purpose

Hello, readers! M. here.

I was inspired the other day by this quote I saw on Pinterest:

(credit goes to the original author, it is not my property)

I wanted to love it so much. It sounds like the quaintest little description of people I've ever read. But at the same time; this view of us is really so wrong.

Why? I think that whoever wrote this missed an important part of the picture. Yes, humans are cute. We have our weird quirks and habits, we are living and loving under the countless stars. But we're not just animals, we don't just do this stuff for no reason. We're more than bodies, we are souls. And we were created by a loving God to have breakfast beneath billions of stars. And we were created to do that for His glory. 

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I like thinking about the beauty of the story that God is writing into each life on earth.

If I rewrote this little passage, it would look like this:

"Humans are so cute; when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. We say hello by holding each others hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. But the simple things like that can't even begin to describe how much greater our purpose in life really is. We are God's precious creations, and he loves us so much he'd die to have time with us in eternity. And we bring God our tiny little efforts to be like him because it makes him smile when we want to please Him. We're just His children learning to fall in love with Him and having breakfast beneath billions of stars; stars that He made to give us just a glimpse of His magnificence." 

There's my random vent on purpose for you all today! Talk to you later!

Who I am

Hello dearest readers!

M. here. It really has been over a month since I last shared with you guys... and I have officially run out of excuses. Sorry. :/

I've been in my head too much lately, and I've been aware of it. So I started trying something new where I write out stuff that's going on, in my head and in the world.

"I need to get out of my head."

"It's too quick, too random, too MUCH in general. I just can't think a thought because all of the sub-thoughts that follow drown it out."

I made a list of the main thoughts and sub-thoughts (and random connections) that had been floating around that day and drew arrows that connected different points. Off to the side, I wrote, "But in the end, your grace covers it all?"

I ended that last sentence with a question mark, because sometimes I don't feel worthy of God's grace. Okay, I almost ALWAYS feel unworthy of God's grace. My levels of self-confidence and self-worth are fairly connected, so when I feel good, I get prideful (bad) but when I am humble, I'm also usually feeling worthless (also bad!). So I made three more lists...

List 1. I am:

• Busy
• Stressed
• Tired
• Sore
• Distracted
• Selfish
• Prideful
• Uncaring
• Alone

Without Christ

So this list was a description of how my day-to-day living feels when I don't let Christ in.

List 2. I am NOT:

• Worthless
• Hopeless
• Too far gone
• Identified by my past
• Broken beyond repair
• Defeated
• Ugly
• Stupid
• Who I make myself
• Just a story
• A failure
• A waste of God's time
• What others think of me
• My makeup, clothes, or hairstyle

Because Christ says these are lies.

This list was just a needed reminder of the countless things the devil is trying to get me to believe that simply aren't true.

And finally... List 3. CHRIST calls me:

• Redeemed
• Treasured
• Faithful
• Loving
• Caring (This and the last two are struggles for me; Christ's GRACE alone makes me able)
• To die for!
• A masterpiece
• Beautiful
• "The resurrection with skin" (We have the power that made Christ rise from the dead inside of us!!)
• Part of the best Story
• Victorious
• A child of His
• A co-heir with Christ
• Identified by His grace
• Selfless (along with faith, love, and caring)
• At peace (stress doesn't need to control me)
• Renewed
• His delight

And I am worth it ALL to Him!

So, yeah. Basically Christ's claims are more important to me than the craziness going on in my brain. I think I might do this writing thing more often... :D What would you add to these lists?

I'll close with a quote of L.'s from a recent Bible study: "It must be insane to be God!" :D
See you next time! (Hopefully it won't be another month... I'll try, friends! I'll try.)
-M.

On College and "Those Days"

Hello, dear readers! Happy Spring! :D

M. here. I feel like I'm returning to an old home. It hasn't really been that long since I last blogged (yeah, it has) but it's FELT like forever!! My life has just been packed with school, music, work, organizing, planning, and dreaming of the future. Every time I returned to this page, I felt like I had nothing to write about... So sad. But my mind has been far from empty; most of my thoughts are of school, or more importantly, getting ready for COLLEGE!!!!

Guys, I'm going to college in 5 1/2 months. 159 days. (Yes, I'm counting now.) Which is 3816 hours.... Oh, forget it!!

I'm going to college. (shrieks in excitement)

I've got my schedule, my room assignment, my packing list, my summer job, and my AWESOME friends and family helping me along the way with it all. My major will be a dream experience for me; by studying Worship Arts I get to take music classes, voice lessons, be in choirs, and ALSO get to take theology courses!!! I honestly don't know which ones I'm more excited for.

Why am I going to college?? I thought I was like, 12 three weeks ago. Who let me grow up???

I am thinking about starting a series or collection of posts for the blog on my college experience, including packing and planning, organizing and prettifying my dorm, what I learn in classes, studying and learning tips, and all the simplex things that happen throughout the journey! (If I have time, that is....) I'll probably begin posting things of that sort once I finish my online classes in May. :D

Okay, enough about schoolish things. Here is some simplex encouragement for you today!!! (In hindsight, it's actually really deep... but that's okay!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You know those days when you want to kick a chair over? Or maybe those days when you want to disappear into your room and melt away into your bed? Or maybe those days when you really, really need a hug and no one's around?? Or even those days when you can't think straight because of the constant barrage of things to do and places to be and work to finish but you have no time???

You know "those days?" If someone came up and asked you how you were, would you say, "It's been one of those days!"

Yeah, I have those days too. (Duh.) Everyone has those days! (Again, duh.) The worst part of days like that, for me, are when I don't learn anything from them. I know that God is supposed to be using every moment to teach me something about Him, or myself; but a lot of the time it seems like those days are just there. I try to ask God what He's teaching me, but I hear no answer. Then without skipping a beat I get mad at God and turn to something, anything besides Him for comfort. I don't really even bother to wait any longer than a minute for a calming peace, a solution to the problem, or a teaching moment.

My problem with "those days" isn't really how bad the day actually is. It's that God isn't helping fix it when I want Him to.

It's taken me a really long time to figure out this sentence I'm going to share with you: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. That is a very simple sentence that I'm sure most you would agree with. But during one of those days, do you really live like it's true?

Here's an example. (It's kind of a long one.) Last fall, I was set to attend a gap year program in another state. I had attended youth camps put on by this association and had always loved them; but an actual nine month study program sounded beyond epic to me. Because I hadn't originally intended to do any school during my gap year, I was torn between staying home or trying to go there.

I trusted God with the decision and sent in my application. I actually put my dreams in His hands and was confident He'd help me make the right decision. I was accepted and was ecstatic!! I began dreaming of the opportunities, obviously. But it was short-lived excitement. I couldn't afford the cost of the program and had to withdraw a month before it began. I was crushed. All the trust I'd put in Jesus, and it felt like He'd dumped me in the garbage. 

For the last year, this experience has weighed on me because I could not understand why God put me through that. I've had some great moments this year that showed me that I was meant to stay home (See: It's the Little Things, Hugs from Jesus) and I understood that, but why didn't He just steer me away from the opportunity or tell me not to apply, so I wouldn't get my dreams shattered? My level of passion in the things I loved went waaay down last fall, even unconsciously, because God had taken something away from me.

That's always the magic question, isn't it: why?? Here's the magic answer: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. (Look familiar?) Technically, we don't have the right to ask God why He does things His way. Sure, He lets us ask away, but He's never obliged to answer.

Here's the most important part, though, in this equation: If God wants us to know what's going on, He will tell us!! He loves us enough to want to do that for us. He doesn't have to tell us anything really (See: the book of Job!!) but He chooses to give us answers sometimes for the sake of showing us how He loves us!!

In the example I gave, I only recently have come to an understanding of why I went through that time of confusion last summer. God wanted to give me something beyond me and out of my control. It forced me to trust Him with it, which I did. But He also wanted me to accept the outcome I didn't expect (having the door opened and then quickly shut again) and continue to trust Him, which I did not do. I tried to take back the control of my own life once I thought that God couldn't handle it. Obviously He could have and did, but I was running the wrong direction to see it!

Yeah, that's basically what happened last summer!! ;)

Through the Christmas season and these first two months of this year, God has been revealing why I went through that tough time: He was teaching me to accept His changes of direction because they're way better! I probably wouldn't be going to the college I am this fall, if I had gone to that program last year. I might have not pursued a degree in Worship Arts, I might not have seen our little brother's adoption (!!) or met the AWESOME kids I work with each week. And I definitely wouldn't have learned the lesson of changing direction when I really needed it.

It only took me a few months for this resolution, but sometimes it may take years to get it. You may never get it. (Again, see: the book of Job.) God doesn't run on your timing!! I've learned the hard way that going God's way will hurt your heart less in the long run, and I hope you never have to learn it the hard way. Do you have any thoughts on this topic? Comment away!

Remember this: God hears. He knows. His timing is perfect.

As always, thanks for reading!
M.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

-Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)