[made new]

You have been made new. 

Reborn. 

Reimagined. 

Remixed, if you will. 

Your song does not sing the way it used to.

You consist of entirely different cells than you did 7 years ago. Think back and you will realize your ideologies, dreams, fears, and priorities have all changed in major ways since then as well.

Yet are you still you? Moreover, what truly makes you… you? I never said we wouldn’t get existential at some point on this journey.

Your soul is the essence of who you are and your body is a vessel. Make no mistake, God designed you to be exactly the way you are for a reason and how you look is part of His masterful system. But that body houses your spirit, your life, and the breath that continues to give oxygen to your blood to pump through your veins to let each part do its proper work.

God says that your body, as well as your spirit within you, used to have a nature of darkness. You were a child of wrath, rebellious, selfish, preferring your own way over God’s. Deciding you didn’t owe God every last second of the breath He has lavished you with as if it was yours to be in command of. This darkness was who you were.

But you have been made new. 

Remixed. 

Reborn. 

Rediscovered, if you want. 

Your eyes do not see as they used to.

Now you are “in Christ” as Paul says often. Meaning you take His name, His status, His identity, His inheritance, and His Spirit. You take the name of Christ upon you and bear it. You take on the status of a child of the Creator and Father. You take on His identity of beloved. Beloved beyond compare. You take on His inheritance of reigning with Him and being glorified with Him. I’ve heard it said that the Living One was willing to die so that the dead could become living ones. Finally, you are indwelt by His Spirit. You have the Spirit of Christ now in you. In charge of you. The spirit that once was your own to control is no longer so. You have been given a new nature, a new calling, a new hope, and a new path to walk.

You have been made new. 

Rediscovered. 

Repurposed. 

Reclaimed. 

Your will no longer belongs to you as it used to.

Your life is upside down, not to be controlled by your selfish desires and dreams. Instead, God’s Spirit infuses himself into your very veins and begins to fill you with His will and calling for your life. You were bought with a price and when you submit your will rightly to Him, He takes over. The best part is you will actually eventually enjoy it! You will begin to have a heart for the things God has a heart for. You will want to follow God’s calling for your life because your life will become an unknown adventure where the Creator of the world has the reins and means to let you do absolutely anything that could possibly honor Him. It’s freaking awesome.

You have been made new. 

Reclaimed. 

Redirected. 

And rewarded. 

Your glory no longer belongs to you as it used to.

The credits roll likely wouldn't have your name on it. You're not even quite deserving enough to be an extra in this film because the starring role of the hero is played by the Lamb who died to save the damsel in distress, a church with a torn veil who is not the spotless bride she once was. Yet somehow you are considered a co-heir and a child of this man who hung the stars but still prefers your daily company. It's a strange plot but a beautiful dance. There is no story yet to rival it, and your joy is His company and His presence for eternities on end. 

And yet as each eternity ends and begins anew and you are still with Him forever,

         have        en  re           ed.

You            be           new      

             will           made        again.

-M.        

Easter - Is Jesus Missing?

Hey friends!!!

Happy Easter and happy almost April!! I wanted to share a poem with you guys!! I wrote it Sunday night when I was really just thinking a lot because this year felt so different from past Easters. Something felt wrong but I was still doing the same basic thing I'd always done for the holiday that is supposed to be designed for celebrating that Jesus rose from the grave. 

Disclaimer: the words of this poem might and probably will be considered offensive to some people. It's not pointed at anyone and I am not blaming or judging anybody in this poem. However, I am shamelessly calling out what I believe to be an oversight in the church and I honestly don't really care if that's offensive to people. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Oops, I forgot to take an Easter selfie yesterday and post it on the Internet with #heisrisen 

so all can see I love Jesus because that's all Easter is, isn't it, 

wait, Easter is the family picture, dressed to the nines, in front of our church, 

reminding the world that our family is perfect, 

that's all it's about. 

It couldn't be about the homeless man who walked up the street 

a few minutes after you stepped in to find a seat 

in an air conditioned room to listen to a sweet concert 

and hear the story again that Jesus died to make a way 

then he rose from the grave and he still lives today

But it can't be about that guy outside too, 

when he smells too bad to step foot in that room, 

you say God is risen but this man feels like he's in a tomb 

and he's starving for something more than just food 

but he probably didn't eat today either, 

but it's okay because you did and this is about you. 

Jesus forgave you for your sin

And he made you alive inside again

And he gave you a home to live in

And he let you take that for granted again

Because Easter is about you, right?

Jesus even died to give you new life! 

But he gave that guy outside new life also 

and he pays attention to him and loves him with all of his heart 

so much that he died,

And if this message moves you 

maybe you'll give your church fund some money,

maybe even go outside and slip him a twenty,

But aren't you gonna ask him his name? Learn about his journey in life? 

Pull him up from his darkness and share with him new life,

Even if it means you'll be late to family night,

All I'm saying is isn't Easter supposed to be about sacrifice? 

I think Jesus is missing not just from the tomb 

but maybe from our churches and hearts a bit too

I'm not trying to be pretentious. 

I'm still learning to walk my talk 

and live the words I give 

and reach out the same way I preach out 

but sometimes I've got to saying it 

so I can start making it happen 

and prove my words have actions. 

What if we start dying to live 

and trying to give light to those in darkness? 

Show em His heart for the heartless, 

maybe they'll see after all it isn't religion we worship 

it's the change in our lives that makes Jesus more than worth it to us 

to give up more than just our Sunday mornings to dress up 

while we mess up the rest of the week 

away from the eyes of the people 

but the eyes of the father still see. 

We are all homeless 

if Christ's tomb was still full. 

We would all be out in that cold 

world so many people are living in, 

they're really missing living in two homes; 

a home for their body but also a home for their heart 

that's why maybe we should think about starting 

to sacrifice a bit of ours to help them find both. 

But this point can't be contained in a single blog post

so I pray it reaches deeper past just mere words 

but transforms people who can then transform the world. 

-MB

The Semester in Review and Destressing 101

 

Hi again, my friends! M. here!

It's great to be back! Do you know why?? IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!! (happy dance) School's finally over and I'm beyond excited for the last 15 days of this year. (Yeah, only 15 days till 2016, guys. Buckle up!!)

I just had the craziest semester in my life. In the best way, I think. I started my true first year of college and it was a blast! There was definitely a lot of work, having 8 classes to shuffle every week along with Life group and Chapel and studying and homework and choir practice and work and... well it was just a crazy semester.

It was a crazy semester for another big reason besides school, though. In the past few months, I've really been growing closer to God. I've heard from Him in more tangible ways since September than I think I have my whole high school life! His call to follow Him with all of myself has never been clearer, and the presence of His grace in my daily walk with Him has never been sweeter.

That's one of the things I love so much about God. My relationship with Him doesn't grow in a linear way (nerd word alert!!) but it grows in an exponential way (slow down, there!) because we can always grow closer to God on this earth and we can always dig deeper into the riches of His love. I know He's always got more for me.

Take my stress levels for example. I think we all know that I'm like a joyful little bundle of stress!!! I carry it with me every day; I treat it like a beloved puppy, judging by how much attention I pay to it. Because there's so many things to stress about, right? I mean, there's stressing about the grade I'm gonna get on that homework I turned in yesterday or the random thing I said to that person last week or every time I've embarrassed myself in front of people EVER IN MY LIFE. This blog is full of regrets like that! And then there's today to stress about: does my face look weird? Does she think my shirt's ugly? Am I talking too much? Am I talking enough? Does anyone like me?? How am I going to get everything done today? And then there's stress about the future!!!! That's the best, because the options are limitless!!! What am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow? How much homework will I have next week? What presents am I going to get for my family for Christmas? What classes will I take next semester? What about summer break? What about after I graduate? Am I ever going to get married? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH MY LIFE???

You probably get the picture...

Stress is the easy way out. It's our human response to the unknown and uncontrollable. To be honest, it's really unproductive too. Ever heard that saying that worry is like a rocking chair; it won't get you anywhere but it'll give you something to do? That's definitely true when it comes to the things I stress about the most - they're usually the least important.

A friend is singing a song for her voice recital tomorrow called "Cecie's Lullaby." I'm playing piano and singing harmonies with her, and it's one of the few things that have been keeping me sane lately. The lyrics are from the perspective of God to one of His children:

"Call my name and I will listen

All you need is here inside arms

Just breathe and you'll be safe and sound

With me

No one knows you better than me

No one's been a better friend 

So rock-a-bye, baby, come and rest

You've been tired lately, lay your head down

Don't you think, baby, I know best

I've been a Father for a long time" 

Because I'm a foster sister, there's plenty of crying kids around. I know nap time and bed time especially can be stressful for babies, so the other day I held my two year old foster sister and sang her those words. And she screamed the whole time, but after another song she calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. There aren't many things in the world that can top that. But it got me to thinking about the whole rocking chair analogy.

Maybe you rocking in the rocking chair won't get you anywhere, but perhaps letting Him hold you and sing you to sleep is how he designed it. The stress isn't ours to worry about. It's His to handle.

How will you intentionally pursue God's rest this Christmas?

-M.

Crazy Months (and new adventures)

Hey all!

How have you been? We're sorry for leaving you all in the middle of October and never coming back (just kidding, I'm writing right now!!!)

Last time I hung out with you guys, it was the middle of SEPTEMBER (oops) and I had just been getting into a new school and work routine for my life. I haven't written here since then because I've been writing in other ways!!! (Like songs and spoken words!!! And another project that I'll tell you about in a minute...)

ON CLASSES: They're going really good for the most part! I still really am not loving my 8:25 music theory class (and that's not even that early!). We are done with Aristotle in our English class and only have one more paper and one presentation for the semester!!! We're looking at Ethics in my "university success" class and at the person of Jesus Christ in theology. :D

ON MUSIC: I've written two songs here at school!!! Both were homework assignments. :P I also am really looking forward to learning how to use the tech equipment we have in our new RECORDING STUDIO!!!! I really love the band that I'm a part of - it's so much fun to jam out with other people who love and follow Jesus and want to lift Him high the same way you do!

ON OTHER FUN THINGS: I was in a play!!!!! And I am currently doing a writing project called "NaNoWriMo!" That's an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. That's 1,667 words a day!!! So the writing side of my brain is a little shot currently. I hope to blog at least a few more times here in November; but I apologize in advance if I end up under a rock the whole month!!! Maybe I'll post a little excerpt from the rough draft here sometime this month :D

ON THE HOLY SPIRIT: The Holy Spirit has been more present in my life in the last few weeks than I've ever felt Him. I used to worry about my salvation because of how sinful or messed up I was, but the fact that I hear the Holy Spirit's conviction so often in my, I am more assured and confident in my salvation than ever! I'm also more convinced of the things that God is calling me to do; even when I don't want to do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. (Especially when I feel uncomfortable doing it!)

ON SLEEP: Is it normal to fall asleep in the middle of the day and accidentally sleep for THREE AND A HALF HOURS??? I've done that twice in the last ten days.... (hehe oops). Hey, at least I didn't sleep through any classes!

ON MY NEW SISTER!!! We're adopting my baby sister!! We've had her in foster care for over a year now and on Friday, we are officially adopting her!!! I'M SO EXCITED GUYS!!!!!!!! (Can you tell?)

ON SIMPLEX STUFF: I have a post in my mind about Identity that I'm hoping to work on soon!! So you all can look forward to that! :D Also life gets simpler and simpler the more I think about it. Here's a new little perspective on what simplex means to me lately:

"The world gets crazier and crazier. God calls, 'talk with me.' 

Your life circumstances get heavier, Jesus says, 'I died for those.' 

The culture whispers to you to enjoy yourself, the Holy Spirit cries, 'deny yourself.'

It's a simple sentence. But the fact that it's from the Lord of the galaxies makes it astronomical."

Thanks for reading! Talk to you all soon!

-M.

The Beginning...

Hey everyone!!!

GUESS. WHAT.

(I started school. Like three weeks ago.)
*cue screaming*

Don't worry, it's not bad screaming!! Well, mostly not bad. I did kinda forget how hard school in general is. But most of the past month has been really really awesome!!

ON WELCOME WEEK: I moved in... I met my roommates... I met about 3000 other people whose names I will never remember... I did SO MANY welcome week events (Including a worship night, a movie night, and a concert!!)... and ate way too much free pizza.

ON CLASSES: I have an english class where we make memes that connect to aristotle. I have a "university success" class where we're gonna play clue in a few weeks!! I have a theology class where we talked about dreams of aliens and zombies. I'm super stoked about voice lessons. And I have not one, but TWO classes dedicated just to writing music!!

ON HOMEWORK: I already have a song due for songwriting this weekend :| and I have a speech TOMORROW in my English class!!!

ON CLUBS: I'm going to join a guitar club!! I have had a guitar for 8 months and haven't learned to play it yet. I want to join a Frisbee club but I haven't found one yet that fits my schedule. (Noooo.... I need my Frisbee!!!!)

ON FOOD: The food here is way too good... let's just say I've eaten a lot of chicken sandwiches and had a few too many drinks from Jamba Juice :P

ON GOD AND THE START OF COLLEGE: I'm having a blast. It's crazy, it's busy, and it's more difficult than I ever really anticipated. (I've already had one night where I stayed up till 3am to finish homework...!) But it's the beginning of the rest of my life. I'm SO excited for what God's gonna bring me not only this year, but throughout the college experience for me. He's already teaching me so many new concepts and drawing me into a closer relationship with Him. I can't wait for more.

The Candlelight Dedication service for the Freshman class

In summary, I started college. But there's so much more that God has in my story. And knowing God, He's gonna make it AWESOME.

Thanks for reading! See you guys next time!
-M.

On FIVE DAYS TILL SCHOOL (!!) and Moments that Change You

This might not turn out as well as I'm hoping, but here goes nothing...

Hey everyone! M. here!!!

(So just to confirm how awful my motivation/inspiration/will to write is currently, I wrote the two sentences above TWO WEEKS ago and then was sidetracked for the day and then I forgot about them and then I continued life as usual and then I procrastinated and then I CAME HOME and then I started packing and can you tell that blogging hasn't been a priority lately????)

How are you all doing? Comment below with your lamest pun involving a banana, a buffalo, and a pair of socks. :D

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?! I move into my new dorm in 5 (five) (cinco!!!) days!!!
I can't believe it. I'm literally dancing in my room right now. (And you can't prove me wrong cause you're not here to see it! So there.)

Anyway, on to my simplex observations of the day!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Life is funny. It changes so quickly yet we expect it to stay fairly consistent. We expect our perceptions of the world to be consistent, which really is the strangest thing to expect at all!! This is because our perception and our "brain filters" or "worldview lenses" are always being added to with each new experience every day.

Think back to a year or so ago. Didn't you feel so much younger, or immature, or less knowledgeable? Well, that's because, obviously, you were younger. You probably were more immature. And you were definitely less knowledgeable, whether in head knowledge or experiential knowledge. And all of the moments in the last year of your life have brought you to today! And each moment is going to move you forward. To some degree, what you ate for breakfast today actually is going to change the outcome of your life!!!!

But don't freak out - it's NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. Something that trivial is probably not going to change your life in a negative or positive way. It's a more neutral event in the grand scheme of your years of life. But there are some events, some moments or days that leave a mark on you.

And you are forever different because of it.

Maybe it was a moment in first grade when you made an awesome friend - or an "enemy for life." Maybe it was your first day at a job. Maybe it was a graduation or the receiving of an award that you worked really hard for! Maybe it was the day when someone close to you died. Or maybe it was a period of time when you struggled with doubt or anxiety or depression. Maybe it was a moment of laughter you shared with a friend. Or maybe it was the week you spent at youth camp.

Whatever it was, it changed you. And it's so weird that we expect consistency in our own lives when we have moments or days like that.

I had more than a few days like that this summer. In fact, my whole summer was an experience that changed me!! Going away for a month to a place out of my comfort zone, to a job that fulfilled me and exhausted me simultaneously, and to a spiritual craving for God unlike my usual walk with Him really grew me and stretched me in ways I didn't expect or ask for.

I'm finally home and have had a week to get back "to normal;" just in time to start packing up for school! But a recap is always necessary for me to really get some good closure.

Here's a short little list of things that hit me this summer during my summer job/weekend trips home/vacation with family:

• It's actually ok to be homesick!!!! (In the past I viewed it as a weakness and therefore to be avoided like the plague. But it's real and it's healthy!)
• Hard work doesn't always pay off. But wise work does.
• The timely encouragement of a friend is worth more than gold!!!
• Car drives were made for loud music. And singing at the top of my lungs.
• Taking pictures was one of my coping methods. And also one of my ways to save up priceless memories. 
• I really really love the visual aid of life as a story to remind myself that Jesus is a better author than I'll ever be.
• I missed my piano SO MUCH over the summer!
• I had some long days at work, but the last week had one of the hardest because I was so spent of energy.
• My time spent with God was different because I was in a place of daily reliance on Him much more that I do at home. And I want to trust Him that much all the time, recognizing that every little thing I have is from His will.

This summer changed me. God changed me in a good way, though the path wasn't sunshine and rainbows all of the time. In fact it was often clouds and downpour, both figuratively and literally!! But now I see life a different way and it's brought me closer to God and to other friends!

And now, in just five days, I'm going on another new adventure. God's called me to the school I'm headed for and He's opened every single door I've needed to follow that calling. And I can't wait to make so many memories and have those moments that change me forever as God molds me into the girl He wants me to be.

See you guys next time!!
-M.

What's New?

Hey readers!!!

I wish I blogged more often.... why does life have to be so crazy sometimes??

Anyway, I wanted to give you guys a little update on my simplex life lately! 

• When I wrote that open letter to my past present, and future a few weeks ago, I was literally in the car on the way to a new city for a month! The family I work for decided to move up north and I didn't have any major summer plans so I said, "I'll come with you!" The blog post was a reaction and preparation for the coming month of new challenges and adventures
• I've spent the last three weeks making meals, playing games, taking photos, singing the same songs over and over again, drawing pictures, reading, rereading, and REreading "There's a Wocket in my Pocket!!"
• I've gotten to do video calls to home several times :D It's so cute to watch two two-year-olds video chat with each other on the phone!
• I've also gotten to go home several times! The drive from my home to this other city is around two hours but I can fly standby on a 30 minute flight to go back and see my family. 
• I went back for our baby foster girl's 1st birthday!! She is adorable, people. She can walk and clap and dance and babble and is just SO CUTE, GUYS.
• I also flew back for the 4th of July weekend. I watched fireworks with my family on Saturday. And on Sunday I went to see "Inside Out" with a few friends, then went to another friend's birthday party! It was such a fun weekend and I was reminded about how important it is for me to stay connected to my friends.
• The last flight back I've made (so far) was to spend Friday and Saturday at our homeschool convention volunteering! I wrote about last year's convention making my feet sore and it was definitely the same this year! I had a pretty fantastic time, although I came back up to work exhausted on Monday.
• I hate grocery shopping for myself. I can't handle that kind of responsibility! I go in thinking, "Okay, some fruits and veggies and healthy snacks!" and I leave with three different kinds of cookies. Seriously?
• I've been gearing up for school in ONE MONTH from now and I'm freaking out with excitement!!!!!!!!! My roommates and I are collaborating on packing lists and I'm checking out welcome week schedules, clubs and sports I might join in, and beginning to look for textbooks and supplies I'm gonna need. I CAN'T WAIT, GUYS.
• Related to school, I'm thinking of starting a separate blog for sharing my school adventures! If you guys want to read it, let me know!!!!!
• Why do I say guys so much???
• I dyed my hair purple again!!!!!! Well, just the bangs. :D

 



Of all of the photos I've taken this whole month, this one's probably gotta be my favorite (heart melts)

That's all I can think of right now!! I'm spending time with family next week, working the next two weeks, then coming home for a week to prepare (and pack!) for college!!!! It's going to be a crazy busy month, but may God be glorified in it all.
See you next time!
-M.

Dear Past; Present; and Future: An Open Letter

Dear Past,

It's been a good run so far. The last few years we've shared have flown by. They've been filled with laughter and joyful moments, even though there have been some difficult ones too. I've met new friends through you and have grown relationships in beautiful ways. But as we both get older, those memories drift farther from me.

Sometimes I don't have the right perspective of you. I don't want to sugarcoat you; but I also don't want to minimize you. God's been good to me and I want to praise Him for that. However, sometimes you take control of me. And I don't want that. I don't want to be stuck re-living you; I want new moments and new memories that I can laugh over and praise God for.

I'm letting go of you. You don't define me.

-M.

********************

Dear Future,

Currently, you terrify me. You're so different from anything I've ever known  and I'm not sure what to expect from you. You're the one that's going to bring those new relationships, new memories, and new adventures. You have the potential to bring utter joy, or absolute heartbreak.

Sometimes you control me too much, like the past does. I'm not okay with that; I want to look forward to your joys but I don't want to miss the joys that God has staring me in the face. You aren't getting a minute more of unnecessary time from me.

I'm done chasing after you. There are more important things I'm looking for.

-M.

********************

Dear Present,

 I'm on God's side. Bring it on.

-M.

Random Vent on Purpose

Hello, readers! M. here.

I was inspired the other day by this quote I saw on Pinterest:

(credit goes to the original author, it is not my property)

I wanted to love it so much. It sounds like the quaintest little description of people I've ever read. But at the same time; this view of us is really so wrong.

Why? I think that whoever wrote this missed an important part of the picture. Yes, humans are cute. We have our weird quirks and habits, we are living and loving under the countless stars. But we're not just animals, we don't just do this stuff for no reason. We're more than bodies, we are souls. And we were created by a loving God to have breakfast beneath billions of stars. And we were created to do that for His glory. 

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

I like thinking about the beauty of the story that God is writing into each life on earth.

If I rewrote this little passage, it would look like this:

"Humans are so cute; when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. We say hello by holding each others hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. But the simple things like that can't even begin to describe how much greater our purpose in life really is. We are God's precious creations, and he loves us so much he'd die to have time with us in eternity. And we bring God our tiny little efforts to be like him because it makes him smile when we want to please Him. We're just His children learning to fall in love with Him and having breakfast beneath billions of stars; stars that He made to give us just a glimpse of His magnificence." 

There's my random vent on purpose for you all today! Talk to you later!

Who I am

Hello dearest readers!

M. here. It really has been over a month since I last shared with you guys... and I have officially run out of excuses. Sorry. :/

I've been in my head too much lately, and I've been aware of it. So I started trying something new where I write out stuff that's going on, in my head and in the world.

"I need to get out of my head."

"It's too quick, too random, too MUCH in general. I just can't think a thought because all of the sub-thoughts that follow drown it out."

I made a list of the main thoughts and sub-thoughts (and random connections) that had been floating around that day and drew arrows that connected different points. Off to the side, I wrote, "But in the end, your grace covers it all?"

I ended that last sentence with a question mark, because sometimes I don't feel worthy of God's grace. Okay, I almost ALWAYS feel unworthy of God's grace. My levels of self-confidence and self-worth are fairly connected, so when I feel good, I get prideful (bad) but when I am humble, I'm also usually feeling worthless (also bad!). So I made three more lists...

List 1. I am:

• Busy
• Stressed
• Tired
• Sore
• Distracted
• Selfish
• Prideful
• Uncaring
• Alone

Without Christ

So this list was a description of how my day-to-day living feels when I don't let Christ in.

List 2. I am NOT:

• Worthless
• Hopeless
• Too far gone
• Identified by my past
• Broken beyond repair
• Defeated
• Ugly
• Stupid
• Who I make myself
• Just a story
• A failure
• A waste of God's time
• What others think of me
• My makeup, clothes, or hairstyle

Because Christ says these are lies.

This list was just a needed reminder of the countless things the devil is trying to get me to believe that simply aren't true.

And finally... List 3. CHRIST calls me:

• Redeemed
• Treasured
• Faithful
• Loving
• Caring (This and the last two are struggles for me; Christ's GRACE alone makes me able)
• To die for!
• A masterpiece
• Beautiful
• "The resurrection with skin" (We have the power that made Christ rise from the dead inside of us!!)
• Part of the best Story
• Victorious
• A child of His
• A co-heir with Christ
• Identified by His grace
• Selfless (along with faith, love, and caring)
• At peace (stress doesn't need to control me)
• Renewed
• His delight

And I am worth it ALL to Him!

So, yeah. Basically Christ's claims are more important to me than the craziness going on in my brain. I think I might do this writing thing more often... :D What would you add to these lists?

I'll close with a quote of L.'s from a recent Bible study: "It must be insane to be God!" :D
See you next time! (Hopefully it won't be another month... I'll try, friends! I'll try.)
-M.

Thoughtful

Hello friends! M. here! What? We haven't talked since last year?

Oh. Right. About that....

I wish I had a valid excuse but life is just busy sometimes. I've been involved with work, school (I'm taking intro to psychology right now, and it's simultaneously fascinating and incredibly boring), thinking a lot (about psychology, Jesus stuff, future decisions, etc.), and trying to begin to prep for heading to college in the fall.

I've been thinking a lot lately.

I kind of wanted to post on what I've been thinking about. So much has been on my mind, the range of situations and contexts and ideas and theories and hopes and worries couldn't all be described in just a simple blog post. However, this will hopefully be a snapshot of them.

I've been thinking a lot about personality theories and type, because it's been in my assignments for school. Through the study and self-assesment I have been struggling with a sort of identity crisis because I really wanted to know which type I fit best with but I also didn't want to get it wrong. I want to know why I think and act the way I do, where I fit in the world, and the way I can best honor God.

I've been thinking a lot about plans for school. I've been making lists of lists that I need to make of the things I need to do before school! (Crazy much? Yeah.) I can't believe how excited I am to go to college in the fall. Honestly, this opportunity, the degree program, the financial situation, and every fine detail feels like the perfect fit and more God-orchestrated than what I could have imagined.

I've been thinking a lot about Grace. It's the theme this semester at our choir and getting to learn it as we begin the year has been more impactful than I can put into words. There is a sort of natural, raw, untainted beauty about how the person who was epitome of perfect chose to be scarred for my sake, and continually pours out mercy to me each morning.

I've been thinking a lot about thinking. I have so many questions. How can a thought honor or dishonor God? Can I control my thoughts? Can I change the way I process and deal with information? Is it healthy to think so much? Why is the world inside my head so loud?? 

I don't know the answers to questions like these. And if you know me, you know I hate saying I don't know the answer to a question.

Everything in my life seems kind of random right now. My work schedule isn't very routine, my schoolwork changes after only short periods of time, and my thoughts are flying in every direction. "Why does life have to be so crazy?" I ask over and over again.

Then I remember there is only one thing. In the end, this chaos will fade and the questions will no longer matter, and I will see Jesus. And He is King, and nothing else matters.

Yeah, some peace and some rest would be great right now, but He is King and is doing what's best.
Yeah, the answers would be great right now, but He is King and doesn't have to answer to me.
Yeah, having more routine and less stress would be fantastic, but He is King and there is Grace.

"Be still and know I am God." 

(Psalm 46:10)

Inner Dialogue and (Sort of) Christmas-ish Thoughts

Here's the inner dialogue that's been going on in my head the past month or so:

"M, you need to post something. It's the holiday season and you have so many topics to choose from."

"M, you should post something. You've got free time today and it's been a while."

"M, you have to post something today or your readers will think you've died."

And then there's the other side of my brain:

"No.
(That side of me makes such a good argument.)

Anyway, I'm back (sort of) to talk a little about Christmas. Because, you know, it's like (looks at calendar) A WEEK AWAY?!?! Oops. I probably should start my Christmas shopping, don't ya think? (sheepish grin)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

In church on Sunday, we talked about Christmas, not just the first Christmas, but the second one! You see, for every time the first Christmas is mentioned in the New Testament, the second Christmas (literally, Christ-coming) is mentioned eight. That's a pretty significant ratio. I love thinking about what Christ's coming will be like, and there's a pretty detailed description in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18:

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encouragie one another with these words."

Unfortunately, I want to know EXACTLY what's gonna happen. Will we all disappear randomly? Will we have to wait to see Jesus? Are the people we know who've died already in heaven, or are they waiting somewhere? WHY DON'T WE GET MORE INFORMATION??? (Ahem. Sorry 'bout that.)

Unfortunately, this complaint I have is actually a pretty consistent problem of mine. I always want to know exactly what's gonna happen in life. What am I getting for Christmas? Where am I going to school next year? What career am I going to have? You know, simple stuff like that.  It shouldn't be that hard for God to just let me in on all of His plans for my life, right? When it actually comes down to it, this problem is me not only wanting to know what God's plans are, but wanting to be in control of these plans that God has. I don't want someone else to run my life!

As I've said before, this is a problem of mine... so I need to change, obviously. God knows what's best for me, whether I like it or not, and in the end, it kind of comes down to trusting that God is not a mean Father but a loving one. It's the same thing as a parent keeping their child away from the hot stove, even though the kid might scream and beg to touch it. The parent knows what's best for their son or daughter, so they will keep them from harmful things like that, and the child will develop a respect for their parents by their trustworthiness.

So what does all of this have to do with Christmas? Absolutely nothing. (Just kidding!) :D

I think what it has to do with Christmas is that Jesus came to earth so that we would know the Father. He came so that we would know the Father's love. And He demonstrated ultimate trust in God's will by being willing to do so much through His life, so that we could know that it pays to trust in the Father too. Jesus was a living picture of trust through His whole story:

He trusted God to give Him the right earthly parents. He trusted God to make Him into a baby and be dependent on people for His care. He trusted God through His childhood, not being able to show His deity to the world yet. He trusted God's timing even when His mother said He should act (John 2:4). He trusted God as He performed miracles, healed many sick, and gained a following during His three years of ministry. He trusted God when He knew He was going to die. He trusted in darkness and in fear. He didn't waver as He was beaten and mocked and crucified.

Which do you think was harder for Jesus: Leaving heaven for Christmas or fulfilling what He actually came to do?

That's what my problem has to do with Christmas. It didn't matter which was harder for Jesus because He trusted God enough and was willing to do BOTH of them! That's the Savior we celebrate, one who is trustworthy AND willing to trust. He's worthy of my worship and my trust in every situation, from an awkward Christmas party to a serious sickness in the family.

So, do you trust Him?

That's what I've been thinking about this season, I guess. Take it or leave it. :) I pray you all have a Merry Christmas, and I'll hopefully be back to post something before the New Year!!
-M

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord."(Proverbs 21:30, NIV)

Fall, Movies, Excitement, and Other Random Happenings

Hi everyone!

Well, it's been way too long since I posted, so here's the collection of thoughts, projects, and happenings in my life lately. :)

• I'm back in school! I'm doing online coursework for the year before I transfer to university on-campus next fall. I finished a Christian worldview course about a week ago and REALLY enjoyed the class. It stretched my mind in lots of different ways, which you all know I love. :D Right now, I've just started taking Old Testament History!
• I work full-time now!! At least almost full-time. I nanny/babysit for two different families and I absolutely love it! I can't even think of a better place that I'd want to work right now. 
• I CUT MY HAIR OFF. Well, I actually paid someone else to do it, but ya know. :) It's kind of a longish pixie now.
• I recently got the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and have just started reading it. So far, it's really convicting and theological and just all-around awesome. I also recently read C.S. Lewis' The Weight of Glory and I really loved that, too. Have any of you read anything interesting lately?? Comment below! :)
• Fall is finally here, and Winter is in sight!! Fun fact: Winter is my favorite season, hands down.
• I've been thinking about grace a lot lately. God's grace isn't clean, it gets dirty. Grace has to cover every sin, not just the "little" ones. When we understand God's grace, we become free from fear of perfection, because we are no longer required to be perfect. We are free to just be ourselves and chase after God with all of our hearts!
• I changed the blog background! (Again!) I went with blue this time, and I really like the new fonts I found. :)
• My brain is about to die. I've watched a lot of movies lately and have been thinking a lot about the worldview in each of them, (big surprise!) so hopefully I can still put together a set of coherent thoughts when I need to. (Which, looking back on that sentence, probably won't be happening anytime soon...) Recently I've watched The Maze Runner, Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Citizen Kane, The Patriot, (edited) and The Magnificent Seven.
• We have a new page coming soon to the blog!!! L. had a really cool page idea for us to add, and we're excited for you to see it! Stay tuned...
• My friends are awesome. Jus' sayin. :)
• I color-coded the apps on my phone. It's kind of relaxing to just scroll through and see all of the colors. :)
• I'm running out of relevant information to put in these bullet points...
• Our cars have all been dying!!! And our house has lost power three times in the last week. It's freaking me out. 
• I keep waiting for something really exciting to happen, but I don't know why. Maybe I've just had too much routine lately. (But if there's too much excitement, I completely shut down and can't function until I have routine again...)
• Last Saturday, I got 7 pies smashed in my face. L. and E. were responsible for two of said pies. I'm totally getting them back for that, but I haven't quite decided how yet. :D
• I went to a concert over the weekend that was absolutely amazing!! I got to see Colton Dixon, Francesca Battistelli, Jeremy Camp, and Hillsong United, along with others, but those four were my favorite!! (I also got to start sponsoring a little girl in Thailand with an international program!!! I'm super excited about that!)
• Here's a verse that I fell in love with the other day! At Bible study a few days ago, the teacher had us do something called lectio divina with verses we were assigned. (Look it up on google; it'll tell you what that means...) The verse I got was 1 Corinthians 1:17 - "For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel - not with words of human wisdom, lest the cross of of Christ be emptied of its power." The phrase that stood out to me was "words of human wisdom" because words are so meaningful to me. I was  thinking that maybe the way we preach the gospel is with a language of love and grace, rather than words. The cross kind of transcends the very limited power of words, which I find fascinating. My mind's been on this thought a lot for the past few days.
• There are pushpins in my bulletin board in the shape of a heart. Just in case you wanted to know. :D

There ya go! Enjoy trying to decipher my life! (Hint: Oh, wait. There aren't any hints. I can't even decipher my life!) I guess you could say it's kinda... simplex right now! (Hahahaha! I see what you did there!!) Oh, man, I'm laughing at my own puns. This is really bad. I'd better go and save whatever dignity I've got left. Bye!

-M.

One Year Ago...

Guys...  

(*cough*and gals*cough* I'm apparently here to comment and fix any errors that M. made. -E.)

(BTW this is completely M's post! Don't tell her I'm here;))

Friends...

GUESS WHAT?! (What? oh hey people! It's L. I snuck into M.'s post:) (Oh hey L.! How's it going? M. doesn't know we're here, right?)  (Hey E. you can join me in sneaking around!  I don't know if she has caught us yet.)

It has been one (uno) (eins) (What??) year since Simplex began. Allow me to share the story with you....

"What should we call it?" E. and I deliberate as we sit in front of my computer. Ideas are tossed out quicker than bad cheese. "We could smush two words together and make a new word. It catches people's attention." (M.'s idea..) We go through a LOT of names... Something about a literary fortress? (M.'s idea..) Nah. We settle on mystery. (Also M.'s idea...) "Of what?"

"This is too complicated..." I say. Complex... hmmm. I thought blogging would be simpler than this!! Simple.. Complex.. "Simplex!" I call out.

"What...??" (I was more like: "whaaaaaaaaaaaa.....???) E. looks at me, confused. I explain. "Simplex is something that is simple and yet at the same time, it's complex. Like rain. Or God's grace." (M. literally thought of this in about 10 seconds!) That's M. for ya!)
"Just put something down!" (We have tried to make a name probably for an hour...) (ha! More like 'two' hours! :D it was roughly 11:00pm by then and we were both exhausted)

Here is a picture for you!

The story above may or may not be exact, (its pretty close;)) but the process for making the pages, first post, and design for Simplex went along those same lines of taking forever to make decisions...(like forever) :D But we made it. On October 12th, a year ago today, our blog went live online. And look where God has brought us today! (I'm still amazed at what He has done, and where He has brought me - all of us - since then;)) (I did not know that story until I read this. What troopers they are!)

We have a new author, L! (she mentioned me :)) We have published 58 posts ranging from random to theological (and just plain weird;) mostly by me:)). We've hit over 2,000 page views!!!! (Can I get a round of applause, people?! woot! woot!) The background has been changed multiple times... (mostly by M. once by me) and God's been glorified through it all. (AMEN!!)
Thanks YOU, readers, for making our last year of blogging a wonderful one! (Yeah thanks guys! Especially the three of you who comment! God loves you all though!)

Catch you later! Stay tuned for more Simplexities here! (Siml..sompx..coxcity...Whaaaaaa.....??? ;)) (What???)

-M. (and L.:)) (Don't forget about me!! Otherwise known as: - MOOO!! - *cough* I mean: - penguins are cool - AAAAHHHH I'm going insane!! -- insert evil witch cackle here -- E.)

THE AFTERMATH:

M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (scrolling)
M: (clicks)
M: (scrolling)
M: (gasps)
M: (viciously scrolling)
M: (screams; faints)
L and E: (high-five)

50 POSTS!!!

50TH POST AUTHOR INTERVIEW-CELEBRATION-COOL-THINGY

(translation: I (M.) couldn't come up with a good title for the 50th post. You'd think we have this down by now, but noooo.....)

ACTION KEY:
(A word in this color means this author is speaking, acting, or being described)

M: purple

L: green

E: blue

M: Simplex is now a real word! I'm pleased to announce that "Simplex" has been officially added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary... Not really! We're not that famous. (and we probably never will be!)

L: BUT WE'RE AWESOME!!!

E: And so is the LEGO Movie!! (Breaks into song and dance) "Everything is awesoooome..... Everything is cool when you're part of a team!!"

M: (stares at E. with slight concern)

L: (begins to laugh hysterically)

M: And so begins our interview... and impending demise.

QUESTION 1: TELL US SOMETHING INTERESTING ABOUT ONE OF YOUR FELLOW AUTHORS.

E. M enjoys using parentheses in weird and crazy ways... (M ponders the opportunity(but doesn't do anything about it(or does she???)))

L: and E. never gets enough sleep! (E. yawns)

M: and L is secretly a pop star! (L breaks out in loud song)

QUESTION 2: DESCRIBE THE OTHER GIRLS IN ONE WORD.

M: L is pondering and E is Engaging.
E: M is a rainbow and L is twirly!

L: E. is Random and M. is thoughtful.

M: We make a make a good mix!

QUESTION 3: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERISTIC OF GOD?

L: The fact that He knows us perfectly and still loves us perfectly!

M: The way He has a perfect plan for everything; how His story is woven through all aspects of our lives!

E. HIS SENSE OF HUMOR!!

QUESTION 4: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO POST ON THE BLOG?

M: I like writing about Simplexities or something creative, fun, and engaging.

L: Well, I haven't posted much yet but I enjoy writing stories!

E: I enjoy posting my drawings and funny wallpapers.

M: For example, the picture to the right was drawn by E. during the early stages of the interview, in 5 minutes, on a simple dry-erase board. THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is called talent!!

QUESTION 5: WHO DO YOU LOOK UP TO?

L: Simon Peter. He messed up pretty bad, but Jesus forgave him and he did some pretty bold stuff for the gospel.

E: Donald Duck. No further questions.

M: Well, most of my friends are taller than me. My neck gets sore sometimes.

QUESTION 6: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BLOG POST UP TILL NOW?

E: Creative Writing Prompt #6 or #15.

L: "A Lot can change in Two Weeks."

M: Creative Writing Prompt #13. (but now, probably this 50th post!!)

(Pause of awkward silence, but only for a moment...)

E: Moo, I'm a cow, and you can't do anything about it!!

M: Wow, ok....

E: MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L: I like M.'s responses to E.

M: It's getting late, can you tell?

L: In other words, I love you both.

M: AWWWWW!!

E: .......moo?.......

CAN WE GET TO THE LAST QUESTION BEFORE YOU THREE GO INSANE?

M: Too late! 

E: (rises and begins to walk around the room like a penguin)

M: (sighs dramatically) We are all insane already.

E: Moo.

L: (Laughs at everyone in the most loving way possible)

THE LAST QUESTION: (FOR THIS INTERVIEW, ANYWAYS)

DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE, SAGE WORDS, WISE WORDS, HUMOROUS WORDS, WORDS OF QUESTIONABLE INTENT, OR OTHER WORDS YOU WISH TO IMPART TO THE READING AUDIENCE?

L: Jesus loves you!!! M. and E. are awesome! And eat more Pizza.

E: Don't get brain freezes reading the blog. And doughnuts are good.

M: Paperclips. 'Nuff said.