'Twas the day after Christmas, and one poor little blogger
was tired of presents, talking, eggnog or
wrappings and trappings and new things galore
when all she had wanted was to know her Lord more.
Merry Christmas, readers! M. here apologizing for the terrible poetry above, composed by yours truly. I was hoping it would combat the writer's block and help me to collect my thoughts a little better.
I've been thinking a LOT lately. I'm off school, so now I actually have time to think about what I want, when I want! I've been thinking about school next semester, scholarship options, job options, taxes and applications, living on campus, and all of that fun college stuff in my near future! I've also been thinking about Christmas (obviously) but I didn't really know how to explain what I felt.
This week, I was considering what I'd post about for Christmas time. This is the idea that kept forming in my mind: "Presents have been unwrapped, delicious food eaten, relatives welcomed, thank-yous yelled, babies completely spoiled with gifts, laughter and excited chatter heard through the house, new items tried out, gift cards and money spent, and at the end of it all I ponder these things in my heart... that Jesus is, and always will be. And He wants to know me."
Lately I've felt a pull on my heart like never before. I feel like Jesus wants to hug me! To literally embrace me and remind me that I am His, and I can never be taken away from Him. Yes, He loves me; He gives me hope and peace and joy, but at the end of the day, He just gives Himself. Completely, with no strings attached, He is there for me.
The super busy lifestyle I live makes me forget that. I forget how treasured I am and that there is a higher calling than just meandering through life, when life is actually a marathon. I need to be striving for the ultimate prize, like Paul talks about. I don't think I'm doing that for two reasons: a) I stink at sports, and b) most of the time, I don't mind settling for less than the best. The first one's just a joke (though I am bad at sports) but I truly struggle to remember that I'm not running the race for me, and it's worth every effort that I can give. That Jesus that I was taking about, the one who gives all of Himself to be my Father and my friend, He is the one I should run for. And the best part? He's the prize, too! (I hate this race metaphor sometimes, but I think it works alright.)
Through the presents, food, relatives, and rushing... Jesus is. He waits with arms open, for us to run to Him for an embrace... yet we open another gift and say "Thank you." We eat more food and chat with more people and go to more parties, and still Jesus waits. Christmas ends, we go back to our lives, yet He's still there. Sometimes I imagine Him saying to the angels, "I can't wait to talk to M. today!" We miss a quiet time, then two, then months have gone by without us noticing. He's still there. He'll always welcome us.
Do you ever feel guilty after not spending time with God? Do you go back to Him hanging your head and apologizing? Or do you avoid Him because you're afraid of the lecture? Or do you grow callous and just run through the motions without emotionally investing? I've done all of these (A LOT). Guess what? He's still waiting! He still is overjoyed to spend time with us.
Do you ever feel like God just tolerates you? Why?
Take a look at these verses. This time, read them out loud. I know that you're tempted to gloss over the Bible verse section. I do it all the time. READ. EVERY. WORD. OF. THEM. OUT. LOUD. (Colors added for emphasis.)
Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
For this next set of verses, I've rewritten them (Go ahead, Bible thumpers; wag your fingers!) based on the 1 John 4:8 claim that God is love. I've also taken it out of stereotypical Bible verse format so that maybe you can see it in a new light.
God is patient.
God is kind.
God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud.
He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs.
God does no delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
God ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres.
God is patient.
God is kind.
God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud.
He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs.
God does no delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
God ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres.
God never fails.
The greatest of these is Jesus.
(Verses used: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13.)
Let me ask you again: Why do you feel like God just tolerates you? News flash: He doesn't!!! Stop believing the lie that you've been fed by your church, your friends maybe, and your own conscience. This lie you're hearing says that God thinks you're not worth His time if He's not worth yours.
You are ALWAYS worth it to God. That's what Christmas is all about!! It's reminding ourselves that Jesus knew that it was worth it to give ALL of Himself to become a baby, to live, to die, and to rise again, because it meant that He could give us a great gift - a hug! And more than that, He could know us, and we could know Him.
Through this season and through next year, I want to follow the path God has for me. I want to trust in His love, because it's the love that truly never fails. I want to remember that God rejoices in me, when I obey Him and when I stumble. I want to be satisfied with Jesus, and with Jesus alone.
Merry Christmas, everyone. -M. :D