Day 204-206: "You Will Eat Your Fill And Dwell Securely."

Background: God has been giving the Israelites instructions for giving their farms and such a year off from growing crops every 7 years and to have a special homecoming celebration every 50th year. (Leviticus 25) Then He tells them to fear Him and obey Him but not to be afraid of where their food would come from in the years of rest because He would provide for them perfectly:

Leviticus 25:17-22English Standard Version (ESV)

17 You shall not wrong one another, but you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord your God.

18 “Therefore you shall do my statutes and keep my rules and perform them, and then you will dwell in the land securely. 19 The land will yield its fruit, and you will eat your fill and dwell in it securely. 20 And if you say, ‘What shall we eat in the seventh year, if we may not sow or gather in our crop?’ 21 I will command my blessing on you in the sixth year, so that it will produce a crop sufficient for three years. 22 When you sow in the eighth year, you will be eating some of the old crop; you shall eat the old until the ninth year, when its crop arrives.

Day 159: "One Heart and One Way"

Jeremiah 32:38-41

Jeremiah 32:38-41 (ESV) "And they shall be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them one heart and one way, that they may fear me forever, for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul."

Day 147: "The Battle is Not Yours"

2 Chronicles 20:15

2 Chronicles 20:15 ESV "And he said, 'Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, "Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's."'"

Day 146: "With You to Save You"

Jeremiah 30:10-11

Jeremiah 30:10-11 ESV "Then fear not, O Jacob my servant, declares the Lord, nor be dismayed, O Israel; for behold, I will save you from far away, and your offspring from the land of their captivity. Jacob shall return and have quiet and ease, and none shall make him afraid. For I am with you to save you, declares the Lord; I will make a full end of all the nations among whom I scattered you, but of you I will not make a full end. I will discipline you in just measure, and I will by no means leave you unpunished."

Day 144: "Strong Confidence"

Proverbs 14:26

Proverbs 14:26 ESV "In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge."

Day 143: "By His Name"

Deuteronomy 10:20

Deuteronomy 10:20 ESV "You shall fear the Lord your God. You shall serve him and hold fast to him, and by his name you shall swear."

Day 141: "Like A Flock"

Psalm 78:52-53

Psalm 78:52-53 ESV "Then he led out his people like sheep and guided them in the wilderness like a flock. He led them in safety, so that they were not afraid, but the sea overwhelmed their enemies."

Day 140: "I Have Faith"

 Acts 27:25

This verse is a continuation from Day 139... I encourage you that if God has promised you something, He will enable it to happen! Move forward in that faith.
Acts 27:25 ESV "So take heart, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as I have been told."

Day 76: "Bear Witness"

Luke 21:13-15

Luke 21:13-15 (ESV) "This will be your opportunity to bear witness. Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict."

Day 58: "As a Father"

Psalm 103:13
 

Day 24: "With a Sincere Heart"

Ephesians 6:5

Ephesians 6:5 "Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ."

Day 20 - "In Safety"

Psalm 55:18-19

Psalm 55:18-19 - "He redeems my soul in safety from the battle that I wage, for many are arrayed against me. God will give ear and humble them, he who is enthroned from of old, because they do not change and do not fear God."

The Semester in Review and Destressing 101

 

Hi again, my friends! M. here!

It's great to be back! Do you know why?? IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!! (happy dance) School's finally over and I'm beyond excited for the last 15 days of this year. (Yeah, only 15 days till 2016, guys. Buckle up!!)

I just had the craziest semester in my life. In the best way, I think. I started my true first year of college and it was a blast! There was definitely a lot of work, having 8 classes to shuffle every week along with Life group and Chapel and studying and homework and choir practice and work and... well it was just a crazy semester.

It was a crazy semester for another big reason besides school, though. In the past few months, I've really been growing closer to God. I've heard from Him in more tangible ways since September than I think I have my whole high school life! His call to follow Him with all of myself has never been clearer, and the presence of His grace in my daily walk with Him has never been sweeter.

That's one of the things I love so much about God. My relationship with Him doesn't grow in a linear way (nerd word alert!!) but it grows in an exponential way (slow down, there!) because we can always grow closer to God on this earth and we can always dig deeper into the riches of His love. I know He's always got more for me.

Take my stress levels for example. I think we all know that I'm like a joyful little bundle of stress!!! I carry it with me every day; I treat it like a beloved puppy, judging by how much attention I pay to it. Because there's so many things to stress about, right? I mean, there's stressing about the grade I'm gonna get on that homework I turned in yesterday or the random thing I said to that person last week or every time I've embarrassed myself in front of people EVER IN MY LIFE. This blog is full of regrets like that! And then there's today to stress about: does my face look weird? Does she think my shirt's ugly? Am I talking too much? Am I talking enough? Does anyone like me?? How am I going to get everything done today? And then there's stress about the future!!!! That's the best, because the options are limitless!!! What am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow? How much homework will I have next week? What presents am I going to get for my family for Christmas? What classes will I take next semester? What about summer break? What about after I graduate? Am I ever going to get married? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH MY LIFE???

You probably get the picture...

Stress is the easy way out. It's our human response to the unknown and uncontrollable. To be honest, it's really unproductive too. Ever heard that saying that worry is like a rocking chair; it won't get you anywhere but it'll give you something to do? That's definitely true when it comes to the things I stress about the most - they're usually the least important.

A friend is singing a song for her voice recital tomorrow called "Cecie's Lullaby." I'm playing piano and singing harmonies with her, and it's one of the few things that have been keeping me sane lately. The lyrics are from the perspective of God to one of His children:

"Call my name and I will listen

All you need is here inside arms

Just breathe and you'll be safe and sound

With me

No one knows you better than me

No one's been a better friend 

So rock-a-bye, baby, come and rest

You've been tired lately, lay your head down

Don't you think, baby, I know best

I've been a Father for a long time" 

Because I'm a foster sister, there's plenty of crying kids around. I know nap time and bed time especially can be stressful for babies, so the other day I held my two year old foster sister and sang her those words. And she screamed the whole time, but after another song she calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. There aren't many things in the world that can top that. But it got me to thinking about the whole rocking chair analogy.

Maybe you rocking in the rocking chair won't get you anywhere, but perhaps letting Him hold you and sing you to sleep is how he designed it. The stress isn't ours to worry about. It's His to handle.

How will you intentionally pursue God's rest this Christmas?

-M.

Crazy Months (and new adventures)

Hey all!

How have you been? We're sorry for leaving you all in the middle of October and never coming back (just kidding, I'm writing right now!!!)

Last time I hung out with you guys, it was the middle of SEPTEMBER (oops) and I had just been getting into a new school and work routine for my life. I haven't written here since then because I've been writing in other ways!!! (Like songs and spoken words!!! And another project that I'll tell you about in a minute...)

ON CLASSES: They're going really good for the most part! I still really am not loving my 8:25 music theory class (and that's not even that early!). We are done with Aristotle in our English class and only have one more paper and one presentation for the semester!!! We're looking at Ethics in my "university success" class and at the person of Jesus Christ in theology. :D

ON MUSIC: I've written two songs here at school!!! Both were homework assignments. :P I also am really looking forward to learning how to use the tech equipment we have in our new RECORDING STUDIO!!!! I really love the band that I'm a part of - it's so much fun to jam out with other people who love and follow Jesus and want to lift Him high the same way you do!

ON OTHER FUN THINGS: I was in a play!!!!! And I am currently doing a writing project called "NaNoWriMo!" That's an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write 50,000 words in the month of November. That's 1,667 words a day!!! So the writing side of my brain is a little shot currently. I hope to blog at least a few more times here in November; but I apologize in advance if I end up under a rock the whole month!!! Maybe I'll post a little excerpt from the rough draft here sometime this month :D

ON THE HOLY SPIRIT: The Holy Spirit has been more present in my life in the last few weeks than I've ever felt Him. I used to worry about my salvation because of how sinful or messed up I was, but the fact that I hear the Holy Spirit's conviction so often in my, I am more assured and confident in my salvation than ever! I'm also more convinced of the things that God is calling me to do; even when I don't want to do it or feel uncomfortable doing it. (Especially when I feel uncomfortable doing it!)

ON SLEEP: Is it normal to fall asleep in the middle of the day and accidentally sleep for THREE AND A HALF HOURS??? I've done that twice in the last ten days.... (hehe oops). Hey, at least I didn't sleep through any classes!

ON MY NEW SISTER!!! We're adopting my baby sister!! We've had her in foster care for over a year now and on Friday, we are officially adopting her!!! I'M SO EXCITED GUYS!!!!!!!! (Can you tell?)

ON SIMPLEX STUFF: I have a post in my mind about Identity that I'm hoping to work on soon!! So you all can look forward to that! :D Also life gets simpler and simpler the more I think about it. Here's a new little perspective on what simplex means to me lately:

"The world gets crazier and crazier. God calls, 'talk with me.' 

Your life circumstances get heavier, Jesus says, 'I died for those.' 

The culture whispers to you to enjoy yourself, the Holy Spirit cries, 'deny yourself.'

It's a simple sentence. But the fact that it's from the Lord of the galaxies makes it astronomical."

Thanks for reading! Talk to you all soon!

-M.

On College and "Those Days"

Hello, dear readers! Happy Spring! :D

M. here. I feel like I'm returning to an old home. It hasn't really been that long since I last blogged (yeah, it has) but it's FELT like forever!! My life has just been packed with school, music, work, organizing, planning, and dreaming of the future. Every time I returned to this page, I felt like I had nothing to write about... So sad. But my mind has been far from empty; most of my thoughts are of school, or more importantly, getting ready for COLLEGE!!!!

Guys, I'm going to college in 5 1/2 months. 159 days. (Yes, I'm counting now.) Which is 3816 hours.... Oh, forget it!!

I'm going to college. (shrieks in excitement)

I've got my schedule, my room assignment, my packing list, my summer job, and my AWESOME friends and family helping me along the way with it all. My major will be a dream experience for me; by studying Worship Arts I get to take music classes, voice lessons, be in choirs, and ALSO get to take theology courses!!! I honestly don't know which ones I'm more excited for.

Why am I going to college?? I thought I was like, 12 three weeks ago. Who let me grow up???

I am thinking about starting a series or collection of posts for the blog on my college experience, including packing and planning, organizing and prettifying my dorm, what I learn in classes, studying and learning tips, and all the simplex things that happen throughout the journey! (If I have time, that is....) I'll probably begin posting things of that sort once I finish my online classes in May. :D

Okay, enough about schoolish things. Here is some simplex encouragement for you today!!! (In hindsight, it's actually really deep... but that's okay!)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You know those days when you want to kick a chair over? Or maybe those days when you want to disappear into your room and melt away into your bed? Or maybe those days when you really, really need a hug and no one's around?? Or even those days when you can't think straight because of the constant barrage of things to do and places to be and work to finish but you have no time???

You know "those days?" If someone came up and asked you how you were, would you say, "It's been one of those days!"

Yeah, I have those days too. (Duh.) Everyone has those days! (Again, duh.) The worst part of days like that, for me, are when I don't learn anything from them. I know that God is supposed to be using every moment to teach me something about Him, or myself; but a lot of the time it seems like those days are just there. I try to ask God what He's teaching me, but I hear no answer. Then without skipping a beat I get mad at God and turn to something, anything besides Him for comfort. I don't really even bother to wait any longer than a minute for a calming peace, a solution to the problem, or a teaching moment.

My problem with "those days" isn't really how bad the day actually is. It's that God isn't helping fix it when I want Him to.

It's taken me a really long time to figure out this sentence I'm going to share with you: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. That is a very simple sentence that I'm sure most you would agree with. But during one of those days, do you really live like it's true?

Here's an example. (It's kind of a long one.) Last fall, I was set to attend a gap year program in another state. I had attended youth camps put on by this association and had always loved them; but an actual nine month study program sounded beyond epic to me. Because I hadn't originally intended to do any school during my gap year, I was torn between staying home or trying to go there.

I trusted God with the decision and sent in my application. I actually put my dreams in His hands and was confident He'd help me make the right decision. I was accepted and was ecstatic!! I began dreaming of the opportunities, obviously. But it was short-lived excitement. I couldn't afford the cost of the program and had to withdraw a month before it began. I was crushed. All the trust I'd put in Jesus, and it felt like He'd dumped me in the garbage. 

For the last year, this experience has weighed on me because I could not understand why God put me through that. I've had some great moments this year that showed me that I was meant to stay home (See: It's the Little Things, Hugs from Jesus) and I understood that, but why didn't He just steer me away from the opportunity or tell me not to apply, so I wouldn't get my dreams shattered? My level of passion in the things I loved went waaay down last fall, even unconsciously, because God had taken something away from me.

That's always the magic question, isn't it: why?? Here's the magic answer: God doesn't run on your timing; He is not your servant but your King. (Look familiar?) Technically, we don't have the right to ask God why He does things His way. Sure, He lets us ask away, but He's never obliged to answer.

Here's the most important part, though, in this equation: If God wants us to know what's going on, He will tell us!! He loves us enough to want to do that for us. He doesn't have to tell us anything really (See: the book of Job!!) but He chooses to give us answers sometimes for the sake of showing us how He loves us!!

In the example I gave, I only recently have come to an understanding of why I went through that time of confusion last summer. God wanted to give me something beyond me and out of my control. It forced me to trust Him with it, which I did. But He also wanted me to accept the outcome I didn't expect (having the door opened and then quickly shut again) and continue to trust Him, which I did not do. I tried to take back the control of my own life once I thought that God couldn't handle it. Obviously He could have and did, but I was running the wrong direction to see it!

Yeah, that's basically what happened last summer!! ;)

Through the Christmas season and these first two months of this year, God has been revealing why I went through that tough time: He was teaching me to accept His changes of direction because they're way better! I probably wouldn't be going to the college I am this fall, if I had gone to that program last year. I might have not pursued a degree in Worship Arts, I might not have seen our little brother's adoption (!!) or met the AWESOME kids I work with each week. And I definitely wouldn't have learned the lesson of changing direction when I really needed it.

It only took me a few months for this resolution, but sometimes it may take years to get it. You may never get it. (Again, see: the book of Job.) God doesn't run on your timing!! I've learned the hard way that going God's way will hurt your heart less in the long run, and I hope you never have to learn it the hard way. Do you have any thoughts on this topic? Comment away!

Remember this: God hears. He knows. His timing is perfect.

As always, thanks for reading!
M.

Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

-Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)

Hugs from Jesus

'Twas the day after Christmas, and one poor little blogger

was tired of presents, talking, eggnog or

wrappings and trappings and new things galore

when all she had wanted was to know her Lord more.

Merry Christmas, readers! M. here apologizing for the terrible poetry above, composed by yours truly. I was hoping it would combat the writer's block and help me to collect my thoughts a little better.

I've been thinking a LOT lately. I'm off school, so now I actually have time to think about what I want, when I want! I've been thinking about school next semester, scholarship options, job options, taxes and applications, living on campus, and all of that fun college stuff in my near future! I've also been thinking about Christmas (obviously) but I didn't really know how to explain what I felt.

This week, I was considering what I'd post about for Christmas time. This is the idea that kept forming in my mind: "Presents have been unwrapped, delicious food eaten, relatives welcomed, thank-yous yelled, babies completely spoiled with gifts, laughter and excited chatter heard through the house, new items tried out, gift cards and money spent, and at the end of it all I ponder these things in my heart... that Jesus is, and always will be. And He wants to know me."

Lately I've felt a pull on my heart like never before. I feel like Jesus wants to hug me! To literally embrace me and remind me that I am His, and I can never be taken away from Him. Yes, He loves me; He gives me hope and peace and joy, but at the end of the day, He just gives Himself. Completely, with no strings attached, He is there for me. 

The super busy lifestyle I live makes me forget that. I forget how treasured I am and that there is a higher calling than just meandering through life, when life is actually a marathon. I need to be striving for the ultimate prize, like Paul talks about. I don't think I'm doing that for two reasons: a) I stink at sports, and b) most of the time, I don't mind settling for less than the best. The first one's just a joke (though I am bad at sports) but I truly struggle to remember that I'm not running the race for me, and it's worth every effort that I can give. That Jesus that I was taking about, the one who gives all of Himself to be my Father and my friend, He is the one I should run for. And the best part? He's the prize, too! (I hate this race metaphor sometimes, but I think it works alright.)

Through the presents, food, relatives, and rushing... Jesus is. He waits with arms open, for us to run to Him for an embrace...  yet we open another gift and say "Thank you." We eat more food and chat with more people and go to more parties, and still Jesus waits. Christmas ends, we go back to our lives, yet He's still there. Sometimes I imagine Him saying to the angels, "I can't wait to talk to M. today!" We miss a quiet time, then two, then months have gone by without us noticing. He's still there. He'll always welcome us.

Do you ever feel guilty after not spending time with God? Do you go back to Him hanging your head and apologizing? Or do you avoid Him because you're afraid of the lecture? Or do you grow callous and just run through the motions without emotionally investing? I've done all of these (A LOT). Guess what? He's still waiting! He still is overjoyed to spend time with us. 

Do you ever feel like God just tolerates you? Why?

Take a look at these verses. This time, read them out loud. I know that you're tempted to gloss over the Bible verse section. I do it all the time. READ. EVERY. WORD. OF. THEM. OUT. LOUD. (Colors added for emphasis.)

Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."

1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

For this next set of verses, I've rewritten them (Go ahead, Bible thumpers; wag your fingers!) based on the 1 John 4:8 claim that God is love. I've also taken it out of stereotypical Bible verse format so that maybe you can see it in a new light.

God is patient.

God is kind.

God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud.

He does not dishonor others, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, God keeps no record of wrongs.

God does no delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

God ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres.

God never fails.

The greatest of these is Jesus.

(Verses used: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13.)

Let me ask you again: Why do you feel like God just tolerates you? News flash: He doesn't!!! Stop believing the lie that you've been fed by your church, your friends maybe, and your own conscience. This lie you're hearing says that God thinks you're not worth His time if He's not worth yours. 

You are ALWAYS worth it to God. That's what Christmas is all about!! It's reminding ourselves that Jesus knew that it was worth it to give ALL of Himself to become a baby, to live, to die, and to rise again, because it meant that He could give us a great gift - a hug! And more than that, He could know us, and we could know Him.

Through this season and through next year, I want to follow the path God has for me. I want to trust in His love, because it's the love that truly never fails. I want to remember that God rejoices in me, when I obey Him and when I stumble. I want to be satisfied with Jesus, and with Jesus alone. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. -M. :D

Inner Dialogue and (Sort of) Christmas-ish Thoughts

Here's the inner dialogue that's been going on in my head the past month or so:

"M, you need to post something. It's the holiday season and you have so many topics to choose from."

"M, you should post something. You've got free time today and it's been a while."

"M, you have to post something today or your readers will think you've died."

And then there's the other side of my brain:

"No.
(That side of me makes such a good argument.)

Anyway, I'm back (sort of) to talk a little about Christmas. Because, you know, it's like (looks at calendar) A WEEK AWAY?!?! Oops. I probably should start my Christmas shopping, don't ya think? (sheepish grin)

* * * * * * * * * * * *

In church on Sunday, we talked about Christmas, not just the first Christmas, but the second one! You see, for every time the first Christmas is mentioned in the New Testament, the second Christmas (literally, Christ-coming) is mentioned eight. That's a pretty significant ratio. I love thinking about what Christ's coming will be like, and there's a pretty detailed description in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18:

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encouragie one another with these words."

Unfortunately, I want to know EXACTLY what's gonna happen. Will we all disappear randomly? Will we have to wait to see Jesus? Are the people we know who've died already in heaven, or are they waiting somewhere? WHY DON'T WE GET MORE INFORMATION??? (Ahem. Sorry 'bout that.)

Unfortunately, this complaint I have is actually a pretty consistent problem of mine. I always want to know exactly what's gonna happen in life. What am I getting for Christmas? Where am I going to school next year? What career am I going to have? You know, simple stuff like that.  It shouldn't be that hard for God to just let me in on all of His plans for my life, right? When it actually comes down to it, this problem is me not only wanting to know what God's plans are, but wanting to be in control of these plans that God has. I don't want someone else to run my life!

As I've said before, this is a problem of mine... so I need to change, obviously. God knows what's best for me, whether I like it or not, and in the end, it kind of comes down to trusting that God is not a mean Father but a loving one. It's the same thing as a parent keeping their child away from the hot stove, even though the kid might scream and beg to touch it. The parent knows what's best for their son or daughter, so they will keep them from harmful things like that, and the child will develop a respect for their parents by their trustworthiness.

So what does all of this have to do with Christmas? Absolutely nothing. (Just kidding!) :D

I think what it has to do with Christmas is that Jesus came to earth so that we would know the Father. He came so that we would know the Father's love. And He demonstrated ultimate trust in God's will by being willing to do so much through His life, so that we could know that it pays to trust in the Father too. Jesus was a living picture of trust through His whole story:

He trusted God to give Him the right earthly parents. He trusted God to make Him into a baby and be dependent on people for His care. He trusted God through His childhood, not being able to show His deity to the world yet. He trusted God's timing even when His mother said He should act (John 2:4). He trusted God as He performed miracles, healed many sick, and gained a following during His three years of ministry. He trusted God when He knew He was going to die. He trusted in darkness and in fear. He didn't waver as He was beaten and mocked and crucified.

Which do you think was harder for Jesus: Leaving heaven for Christmas or fulfilling what He actually came to do?

That's what my problem has to do with Christmas. It didn't matter which was harder for Jesus because He trusted God enough and was willing to do BOTH of them! That's the Savior we celebrate, one who is trustworthy AND willing to trust. He's worthy of my worship and my trust in every situation, from an awkward Christmas party to a serious sickness in the family.

So, do you trust Him?

That's what I've been thinking about this season, I guess. Take it or leave it. :) I pray you all have a Merry Christmas, and I'll hopefully be back to post something before the New Year!!
-M

"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord."(Proverbs 21:30, NIV)

Enough

"Dear God,

I tell you almost every day that I love you. I just forget a lot of the time that you love me too. 

You love me enough to make the right song play on the radio. 

You love me enough to give me a mind to stretch when I'm learning. 

You love me enough to give me a voice to sing about you. 

You love me enough to put people in my life that bless me all of the time. 

You love me enough to hurt me. It's kinda weird, but even though you cause me pain now, it will save me from worse pain later. 

You love me enough to correct me when I'm wrong. 

You love me enough to let me smile when I see a paper clip. 

You love me enough to let me rebel against you because you'd rather have a free will praise you than a puppet.

You must love me a lot. You died for me. 

Why don't I FEEL your love? I have to fake it sometimes. I desperately want to feel loved. Let me feel it. 

Amen. -M."

I wrote this in my journal almost a year ago. Lately, the thought that just keeps popping up in my head is that God loves me enough. 

Not too much. 

Not too little. 

Just enough is how much Jesus loves me. It's a lot, obviously; more than I can imagine, but it's the exact amount that I need. 

How do I even comprehend the love of Jesus? He created me, knows my past, my fears, and my scars. He knows who I was.

He knows the masks I wear and the true me. He sees me as I am today, not as a work in progress, but as a child of His, "holy and dearly loved" (Colossians 3).

He sees the things I desire, but He knows best what I need. He understands the dreams I have for my life, but it will be His story that turns out better than I could have ever imagined. Jesus loves who I am going to become in Him.

So, Jesus loves me with an incomprehensibly perfect love. Yet it's not too much. I think that there is no limit to God's love, and that's how much He loves me.

* * * * * * * * *

And you. (Yes, you!)

God loves you enough. Enough to time something just right in your day. Enough to give you the family, friends, home, and possessions you have now. Enough to write your story, however it may look like, exactly the way it is.

He loved you enough in your past to let you make mistakes and to learn from them. He loves you enough today to give you freedom to choose whether you will obey Him or not.

He will love you enough tomorrow to let you live the BEST life ever. I know it's the best because God planned it for you. :)

It's enough to bring a smile to your face or a tear to your eye when you realize He's using each moment in your life to say, "I love you SO much."

Why don't we believe this? Why don't we FEEL like God loves us so much?

Well, I don't know. (Really? SO HELPFUL!! Just kidding.) Some days I get it. I understand that God loves me and life is beautiful. Then some days I feel like God ditched me and ran to the other side of the universe. What's the deal with that? I have a few possible explanations.

Most of the time, when I feel distant from God's love, it's because I ran away. Not Him. Then I'd get mad at God and push Him away, and then I'd have to pretend everything was fine at a moment's notice when anyone asked how I was doing. So that might be one reason why, if God feels far away from you right now. But that's just from my personal experience.

The other theory I have was inspired by the a page in the book "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. This particular day I read about how Christians should have faith instead of emotion. The author writes, "If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are becoming obsessed with the moments when God did come and speak with us, and we are insisting that He do it again." So days like this one were truly a blessing from God, but we can't expect them to be the norm. Chambers goes on to say , "Never live for those exceptional moments - they are surprises... We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life - our work is our standard."

Sometimes, I think God lets us feel unloved (not become, mind you) in order that our faith might be strengthened. He still does love us unconditionally and watches to see if we'll believe that and continue to live in joy, even if we're not happy.

I know it's the song everyone's sick of now, but Oceans by Hillsong is a great summary of this idea. "Your grace abounds in deepest waters, your sovereign hand will be my guide," the song says. Trust that God loves you enough when you don't feel it. He hasn't left you.

Make sense? I hope it does. Thanks for reading!

-M