[made new]

You have been made new. 

Reborn. 

Reimagined. 

Remixed, if you will. 

Your song does not sing the way it used to.

You consist of entirely different cells than you did 7 years ago. Think back and you will realize your ideologies, dreams, fears, and priorities have all changed in major ways since then as well.

Yet are you still you? Moreover, what truly makes you… you? I never said we wouldn’t get existential at some point on this journey.

Your soul is the essence of who you are and your body is a vessel. Make no mistake, God designed you to be exactly the way you are for a reason and how you look is part of His masterful system. But that body houses your spirit, your life, and the breath that continues to give oxygen to your blood to pump through your veins to let each part do its proper work.

God says that your body, as well as your spirit within you, used to have a nature of darkness. You were a child of wrath, rebellious, selfish, preferring your own way over God’s. Deciding you didn’t owe God every last second of the breath He has lavished you with as if it was yours to be in command of. This darkness was who you were.

But you have been made new. 

Remixed. 

Reborn. 

Rediscovered, if you want. 

Your eyes do not see as they used to.

Now you are “in Christ” as Paul says often. Meaning you take His name, His status, His identity, His inheritance, and His Spirit. You take the name of Christ upon you and bear it. You take on the status of a child of the Creator and Father. You take on His identity of beloved. Beloved beyond compare. You take on His inheritance of reigning with Him and being glorified with Him. I’ve heard it said that the Living One was willing to die so that the dead could become living ones. Finally, you are indwelt by His Spirit. You have the Spirit of Christ now in you. In charge of you. The spirit that once was your own to control is no longer so. You have been given a new nature, a new calling, a new hope, and a new path to walk.

You have been made new. 

Rediscovered. 

Repurposed. 

Reclaimed. 

Your will no longer belongs to you as it used to.

Your life is upside down, not to be controlled by your selfish desires and dreams. Instead, God’s Spirit infuses himself into your very veins and begins to fill you with His will and calling for your life. You were bought with a price and when you submit your will rightly to Him, He takes over. The best part is you will actually eventually enjoy it! You will begin to have a heart for the things God has a heart for. You will want to follow God’s calling for your life because your life will become an unknown adventure where the Creator of the world has the reins and means to let you do absolutely anything that could possibly honor Him. It’s freaking awesome.

You have been made new. 

Reclaimed. 

Redirected. 

And rewarded. 

Your glory no longer belongs to you as it used to.

The credits roll likely wouldn't have your name on it. You're not even quite deserving enough to be an extra in this film because the starring role of the hero is played by the Lamb who died to save the damsel in distress, a church with a torn veil who is not the spotless bride she once was. Yet somehow you are considered a co-heir and a child of this man who hung the stars but still prefers your daily company. It's a strange plot but a beautiful dance. There is no story yet to rival it, and your joy is His company and His presence for eternities on end. 

And yet as each eternity ends and begins anew and you are still with Him forever,

         have        en  re           ed.

You            be           new      

             will           made        again.

-M.        

On Unfinished Stories, Death, and Chocolate Milk

                I got my first tattoo several weeks ago. A few days before I turned twenty. It says “unfinished” with three lines between the prefix and the word. Like this: “un///finished.” It’s a symbol for me of a few things: 1. My story is unfinished. I have more life left to live as long as my spirit breathes inside this body and I want to remember that if I’m still breathing, I still have a purpose. 2. God finished it all on the cross (tetelestai, gk. – “it is finished”). Hence the three lines for the three nails Jesus took. 3. Everyone else in this world is loved by God, and He finished it on the cross for them too, and while they still breathe, their story is unfinished too.

My tattoo was sort of a way of saying goodbye to my teenage years and whatever, but it really is important to me. I really do want that message to be permanent and visible to me for the rest of my life. I put it on the inside of my wrist so that I see it every single day. There is no way I can miss it without closing my eyes the whole freaking day or tying my hand up in a scarf or something. It’s visible and it’s there. I want to make every day count like it’s the last day of my life.

Over three months ago now, a Christian homeschool mom in my community shot and killed her 17 year old son, her 12 year old daughter, and then herself. I knew the kids and the mom. I had been in plays with the kids. The son was one of my brother’s best friends. I still can’t find words to explain the shock of knowing that all of it happened, because that's not something you ever want to read in just two or three sentences, let alone cope with. There's no way to romanticize a murder-suicide of a dear friend. I totally believe that mental illnesses are medical problems that need more awareness and treatment. No questions asked. I also think there are deep emotional and spiritual elements to them too in many ways that need awareness and care. This mom; she ended up deciding she wanted her story finished. She didn’t want to keep reading and see how it goes.

It’s even more heartbreaking because in books, you’d usually want to keep reading at the most scary part or the most dangerous part of the story. You want to find out where the hero wins the battle and where they overcome what is dragging them down. We like reading those stories. They are some of the most powerful and inspiring to us. 

We live day to day, though, and if we see no change, we project that onto our own future. That nothing is going to get better. This is how it is. I want to read my next page of my story right about now. It’s been a rollercoaster for a while. I’ve gone through long spiritual droughts. I’ve walked through emotional pain and emotional numbness. I have lived in isolation and wondering if I am going to see the next day. It didn’t work itself out in the short few sentences I just wrote, like you might think in a story. It’s been years of a process. I’m only 20. 

There is so much left of the story left to write. And I have chocolate milk in my fridge right now, so I want to pour myself a glass and enjoy it! And keep reading the story God’s writing in my life. I have so many things I’ve already learned and still have yet to learn. I’m all too aware of my defects and shortcomings and character flaws, but those are just some of the things that make me, well, me.

Oh, but don’t get it mixed up at this part. I’m not the main character. I’d like to think I am, but truly the main character is the author of this story, and that’s Jesus Christ. I believe that He is real and He works in my life. If you don’t, that’s okay, I’m not offended! I hope you’re not offended that I believe that, and act accordingly with that belief.

See, if God’s the main character, His story is still playing out too. And it’s so cool that His story includes us in, like, actually important ways. His story is unfinished, but the outcome will be the same because of the cross. He defeated sin and death and Satan and evil in general with two pieces of wood, three nails, a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and a sinless life. Oh, and a love that spans generations, that overlooks rejection, that ignores blame and slander, that breathes life into anything that even comes close to touching it, and that totally gives us all a second chance to live our lives – for His glory and our blessing.

I almost got a second tattoo when I went in to get my first one – a vine of flowers. They symbolize new life, and milestones I’ve gotten to. Maybe someday I’ll actually go and get it done, but I got really lightheaded twice during my first one and almost passed out. Character flaw, maybe? I don’t really care.

Read along if you’d like. The stories I post here are never very linear – they could include ramblings from really any point of inspiration in my life that I could care to share about. Sometimes they will be light and sometimes heavy, like life. Sometimes you’ll hear a poem in the making in the way I write, and other times I’ll be straight and to the point. Here’s the point I’m gonna make now. Don’t get this twisted: it’s not my story. It’s His. And I’m gonna write what He tells me to and I’ll write it for His glory, not mine.

Easter - Is Jesus Missing?

Hey friends!!!

Happy Easter and happy almost April!! I wanted to share a poem with you guys!! I wrote it Sunday night when I was really just thinking a lot because this year felt so different from past Easters. Something felt wrong but I was still doing the same basic thing I'd always done for the holiday that is supposed to be designed for celebrating that Jesus rose from the grave. 

Disclaimer: the words of this poem might and probably will be considered offensive to some people. It's not pointed at anyone and I am not blaming or judging anybody in this poem. However, I am shamelessly calling out what I believe to be an oversight in the church and I honestly don't really care if that's offensive to people. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Oops, I forgot to take an Easter selfie yesterday and post it on the Internet with #heisrisen 

so all can see I love Jesus because that's all Easter is, isn't it, 

wait, Easter is the family picture, dressed to the nines, in front of our church, 

reminding the world that our family is perfect, 

that's all it's about. 

It couldn't be about the homeless man who walked up the street 

a few minutes after you stepped in to find a seat 

in an air conditioned room to listen to a sweet concert 

and hear the story again that Jesus died to make a way 

then he rose from the grave and he still lives today

But it can't be about that guy outside too, 

when he smells too bad to step foot in that room, 

you say God is risen but this man feels like he's in a tomb 

and he's starving for something more than just food 

but he probably didn't eat today either, 

but it's okay because you did and this is about you. 

Jesus forgave you for your sin

And he made you alive inside again

And he gave you a home to live in

And he let you take that for granted again

Because Easter is about you, right?

Jesus even died to give you new life! 

But he gave that guy outside new life also 

and he pays attention to him and loves him with all of his heart 

so much that he died,

And if this message moves you 

maybe you'll give your church fund some money,

maybe even go outside and slip him a twenty,

But aren't you gonna ask him his name? Learn about his journey in life? 

Pull him up from his darkness and share with him new life,

Even if it means you'll be late to family night,

All I'm saying is isn't Easter supposed to be about sacrifice? 

I think Jesus is missing not just from the tomb 

but maybe from our churches and hearts a bit too

I'm not trying to be pretentious. 

I'm still learning to walk my talk 

and live the words I give 

and reach out the same way I preach out 

but sometimes I've got to saying it 

so I can start making it happen 

and prove my words have actions. 

What if we start dying to live 

and trying to give light to those in darkness? 

Show em His heart for the heartless, 

maybe they'll see after all it isn't religion we worship 

it's the change in our lives that makes Jesus more than worth it to us 

to give up more than just our Sunday mornings to dress up 

while we mess up the rest of the week 

away from the eyes of the people 

but the eyes of the father still see. 

We are all homeless 

if Christ's tomb was still full. 

We would all be out in that cold 

world so many people are living in, 

they're really missing living in two homes; 

a home for their body but also a home for their heart 

that's why maybe we should think about starting 

to sacrifice a bit of ours to help them find both. 

But this point can't be contained in a single blog post

so I pray it reaches deeper past just mere words 

but transforms people who can then transform the world. 

-MB

The Semester in Review and Destressing 101

 

Hi again, my friends! M. here!

It's great to be back! Do you know why?? IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!!!!! (happy dance) School's finally over and I'm beyond excited for the last 15 days of this year. (Yeah, only 15 days till 2016, guys. Buckle up!!)

I just had the craziest semester in my life. In the best way, I think. I started my true first year of college and it was a blast! There was definitely a lot of work, having 8 classes to shuffle every week along with Life group and Chapel and studying and homework and choir practice and work and... well it was just a crazy semester.

It was a crazy semester for another big reason besides school, though. In the past few months, I've really been growing closer to God. I've heard from Him in more tangible ways since September than I think I have my whole high school life! His call to follow Him with all of myself has never been clearer, and the presence of His grace in my daily walk with Him has never been sweeter.

That's one of the things I love so much about God. My relationship with Him doesn't grow in a linear way (nerd word alert!!) but it grows in an exponential way (slow down, there!) because we can always grow closer to God on this earth and we can always dig deeper into the riches of His love. I know He's always got more for me.

Take my stress levels for example. I think we all know that I'm like a joyful little bundle of stress!!! I carry it with me every day; I treat it like a beloved puppy, judging by how much attention I pay to it. Because there's so many things to stress about, right? I mean, there's stressing about the grade I'm gonna get on that homework I turned in yesterday or the random thing I said to that person last week or every time I've embarrassed myself in front of people EVER IN MY LIFE. This blog is full of regrets like that! And then there's today to stress about: does my face look weird? Does she think my shirt's ugly? Am I talking too much? Am I talking enough? Does anyone like me?? How am I going to get everything done today? And then there's stress about the future!!!! That's the best, because the options are limitless!!! What am I going to eat for lunch tomorrow? How much homework will I have next week? What presents am I going to get for my family for Christmas? What classes will I take next semester? What about summer break? What about after I graduate? Am I ever going to get married? WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH MY LIFE???

You probably get the picture...

Stress is the easy way out. It's our human response to the unknown and uncontrollable. To be honest, it's really unproductive too. Ever heard that saying that worry is like a rocking chair; it won't get you anywhere but it'll give you something to do? That's definitely true when it comes to the things I stress about the most - they're usually the least important.

A friend is singing a song for her voice recital tomorrow called "Cecie's Lullaby." I'm playing piano and singing harmonies with her, and it's one of the few things that have been keeping me sane lately. The lyrics are from the perspective of God to one of His children:

"Call my name and I will listen

All you need is here inside arms

Just breathe and you'll be safe and sound

With me

No one knows you better than me

No one's been a better friend 

So rock-a-bye, baby, come and rest

You've been tired lately, lay your head down

Don't you think, baby, I know best

I've been a Father for a long time" 

Because I'm a foster sister, there's plenty of crying kids around. I know nap time and bed time especially can be stressful for babies, so the other day I held my two year old foster sister and sang her those words. And she screamed the whole time, but after another song she calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. There aren't many things in the world that can top that. But it got me to thinking about the whole rocking chair analogy.

Maybe you rocking in the rocking chair won't get you anywhere, but perhaps letting Him hold you and sing you to sleep is how he designed it. The stress isn't ours to worry about. It's His to handle.

How will you intentionally pursue God's rest this Christmas?

-M.

"That's Life"

Hey all! M. here again! Happy November to all of you!! How is your Thanksgiving week going? Tell me in the comments below!!

Today I want to talk about a saying that really really annoys me. (I know, it's brilliant to be complaining the week where we are supposed to be thankful!) I use this saying all the time, but I hate using it and I hate the idea behind it.

"That's life," we say.
When we lose a job or our microwave breaks, we sigh and say, "that's life."
When we're super busy or we don't get along with other people, we shrug it off and say, "that's life."
When we find flaws in our work or we have to start a project over, we grumble and say, "that's life."
When we have an impossible dream and lose our motivation, we quit and say, "that's life."
When wars and crises arise and we think our world's just gone down the drain, we say "that's life."
When it feels like God is distant and we're stuck on our own, we just say, "that's life."
And we move on.

Why do we have to say that? Why are we obligated to a mysterious fate called life? Yes, there are about two things we have guaranteed in this life, first, death; second, taxes! Yes, we can generally look at lives from the past to learn from their mistakes, predict possible outcomes, and maybe make better plans for the future.

But we aren't tied to that. We never have to be controlled by the outcome of a unknown lottery machine of future events. Isn't God the one who created life? Doesn't He have control over our future and over us? Jesus told us that He came to earth so that we might have life, and have it "to the full!" So why do we settle?

Because we're comfortable. We American Christians are so comfortable in our little Jesus boxes that we don't bother to dream the impossible. We don't care enough to look and see if this is really all there is to life. We rarely ask the Holy Spirit to be present in our lives every day. We don't expect God to move in miraculous ways for us. We don't hope for things like what happened in the apostles' stories in Acts to happen today. Because we're comfortable.

How comfortable are you? How okay are you with your life? When was the last time the Holy Spirit pointed out an attitude to change, a relationship to mend, an opportunity to give Him glory? Did you follow that call? Have you even heard His voice?

Living life to the full is like skydiving - you have to jump out of a plane that has a seat for you, a nice buckle to keep you in that seat, protection from the sun and the wind and the rain and the pull of gravity. You have no need to jump out. You have no need to use the dangerous route to get back to the ground. You can just ride the nice plane down to safety.

But you're not going to have much of a story when you get back to the ground if you never jumped out of that window. You're not going to have the thrill of falling, flying, hurtling down towards the planet unrestrained until at the last second you release the parachute.

It's the same way in our walk with Jesus. We could stay in our comfy churches with the seats we've picked out with protection from the elements of our broken world and the gravity of life's messes. We don't have to go do things to earn our salvation. We aren't obligated to take the dangerous route because "His grace abounds in our weakness." We can just ride the nice Christian life to heaven.

But you can't live life the way God designed you to when you're still inside the airplane! It's time to let go of following the status quo of "that's life." Because there really is more than the nice busy Christian life full of church services with plastic perfect people and life groups full of plastic perfect discussion and the rest of your life as the quiet, unoffensive office worker with a "Jesus loves you" sticker in your cubicle. There really is more to life than the loads of dishes and laundry and kids' noses and faces to clean and meals to prepare and arguments to interrupt. Oh, yes, that mundane still exists. Oh, yes, the trials and the failures and the car breakdowns and feeling distant from God won't go away. That's because we're human and our world is broken.

(But we're not just human beings. Our soul is eternal and will live forever in Christ's presence if we've accepted His salvation. I'm learning, too, that that soul isn't the only things that will live on. We will have eternal bodies in continuity with the old, but those bodies won't decay or become useless. What an exciting prospect! I can't wait for heaven. And seeing Jesus.)

When we are in eternity, I think I'd rather tell the story of how I went skydiving.

What about you?

There's no going back once you jump. But when it come to living God's life for you, you won't regret jumping.
You'll get the opportunity to truly be God's hands and feet for this broken world.
You might get to see God's presence tangibly changing lives and changing whole cultures.
Your heart attitude towards God might be personally transformed from the inside out.
You might be hated for your radical ideas. Jesus practically guarantees it.
You won't be comfortable. But you probably won't miss that comfortable life once you leave it.
You might live that impossible dream in spite of every voice that says it can't happen.
You'll have the chance to redefine what you call truly living.

You will be changed. And that's life. God's way.